How Old Are You Today?

This week Sue chats with author Glenna Hecht who shares her inspiring journey of caring for her mother with dementia, introducing her transformative game that rekindled their relationship and offers practical insights for caregivers. This episode explores emotional resilience, innovative caregiving strategies, and the power of love and presence.

What started as a personal experience has become a movement. Glenna's goal is to get this book into 200,000 hands and donate $2 million to Alzheimer's dementia research. She is donating 30 % of this book's profits to that cause. 

https://glennahecht.com/

amazon link   https://a.co/d/0dEpA5xQ

Thanks For Listening!
Joanna Anderson & Sue Nicolaidis

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Transcript

You Forgot (00:01)
Thank you for joining us today on You Forgot That I Existed. Today's a special episode. I get to interview author, Glenna Hecht. We discuss her book, How Old Are You Today? Dementia, A Daughter, and The Game That Transformed Their Lives. It's such a great conversation. I related so much and I know you will too. The book is incredible and a great tool to have in your ⁓ bag of tricks when you're caregiving. Check out our Instagram page at youforgotpod.

and I'm gonna post a QR code where you can see more about Glenna. Thanks.

You Forgot (00:36)
Our guest today, Glenna Hecht is an author, speaker, consultant, and daughter who refused to let dementia be the end of a relationship. When her mother began slipping into the disease, Glenna went looking for a way to stay connected. What started as a personal experience became a game, then a daily ritual, and eventually a book. That story became the heart of her memoir, How Old Are You Today? Dementia.

a mother, a daughter, and the game that transformed their lives, which explores what it means to stay present, connected, and human when memory and logic no longer cooperate. This book came out of one of the hardest, most meaningful seasons of Glenna's life, caring for her mom through dementia. It's real, it's emotional, and sometimes even funny in the way when life catches you off guard. What started as a personal experience has become a movement. Glenna's goal is to get this book

into 200,000 hands and donate $2 million to Alzheimer's dementia research. She is donating 30 % of this book's profits to that cause. Welcome to the pod, Glenna.

Glenna Hecht (01:40)
Thank you, Sue. my God, I'm so excited to be here and thank you for that wonderful introduction.

You Forgot (01:47)
You're welcome. I'm excited that you are here. I love your book. I love, love, love your book. I feel like we'll get into it, but I feel like it's the handbook I needed when I was caring for my mom. Truly. It's just so comprehensive and it makes sense. And a lot of times when we're looking for help from

resources, whether it's like pamphlets at the doctor's office or whatever, it's just so many words, it's so many, like, it's not helpful. I actually felt how this is helpful. And you gotta tell me how you came up with this.

Glenna Hecht (02:28)
No, thank you. I'll tell you, I mirror your comment. I wish I had had it when I was going through it as well, right? And ⁓ spent quite a bit of time as I outline in the book trying to fix my mom. She had dementia for nine years, seven of those. She was on hospice. And I...

got a call one day that she had gone missing. And so I had to immediately go to Chicago and within 24 hours, the title caregiving was stamped across my forehead, if you would imagine that. I know many of your listeners are in exactly the same boat. But I have to digress and share with you.

my background because it'll explain a lot about what those first couple of years were like. I've had a very long career in ⁓ human resources and training and development and very lucky I've worked for some amazing organizations and just really, really blessed and successful in that regard. But here's the thing, ⁓ HR people are fixers, right? And so employee has a problem, we fix it. Benefits are broken, we fix it.

there's a payroll issue, we fix it. So when I first was dealing with my mom, I treated it as an HR issue, thinking, okay, I can fix it, right? And so I went to...

my God, symposia and read research and support groups and I was looking for a magic pill, you know, somebody to say to me, this is what you can do to make this go away and she can, you know, be better and then you can live your life and she can live her life. And, you know, how's that working for you? And the answer is not at all. So after two years of trying to fix her and having no success, I kind of

gave it up and didn't act very graciously. I'll share that with you later. But when I gave it up and decided just to be present with her, something interesting showed up. And that is the chapter in the game when my mom thought she was at the beach. ⁓ amazing chapter. And she, it's unbelievable. She was sitting in a wheelchair in this.

You Forgot (04:44)
It's beautiful.

Glenna Hecht (04:49)
frightfully old fashioned looking room with the wood paneling and the saggy couches and the whole nine yards and looking up at fluorescent lights and going, ⁓ the sun is so wonderful.

I flimped out, I freaked out because I was sure that she was going through the tunnel that you go through before you pass away, right? And she was really not. She was happy and joyous and everything with her was perfect and I was a witness to it. And then for a while after that, Sue, every time I visited her, I would go, you at the beach? And she'd go, no. Boom.

Are you with your friend? No. Shut down. And so when I realized it wasn't working, one day I went to see her and I said, I have forgotten how old are you? And she looked at me and went, guess. And that became this sort of interactive back and forth game, refined over time, of course, but it became a game.

and the game became a ritual, which I did every single day, and then eventually it became the book that you held up. So ⁓ this unbelievable How Old Are You Today game gave me a relationship with my mom.

It gave me joy in the middle of a very difficult situation, which your listeners are probably going through, right? Dimension Alzheimer's is not easy. And so I was able to rely on this to time travel with her, to experience wherever she was whenever she was there and let it lead me. And so it was...

Truly a miracle is the only way I can describe it for me while I was dealing with her dementia and then obviously up until the end of time I played with her for seven years. And I've trained other people and taught other people just to see if it worked. And it did. And so there you have it. Pretty unbelievable.

You Forgot (06:58)
I truly wish I had this.

Yeah, I wish I would have had that with my mom. ⁓ one of her symptoms was aphasia, so she wasn't very communicative. But man, before she lost the ability to speak, I feel like I would have gotten some really fun stories out of her.

Glenna Hecht (07:17)
Absolutely. It's interesting because at the end, and most of your caregivers with dementia that are dealing with somebody with dementia and Alzheimer's will know that at some point the swallowing and the ability for them to talk in the latter stages goes away, right? And my mom was on mechanical food and so I knew she was progressing, plus the fact that she was old. You know, my mom passed away when she was 19 days shy of 100 years old. So she was

You Forgot (07:33)
Yes.

Glenna Hecht (07:47)
She lived a long life and, ⁓ you know, blessed that she did. And so when she was starting to have trouble swallowing and communicating, I just shifted the game into a physical game where I would squeeze her hand and I would, you know, hold her hand, which I did most of the time we were together anyway, and I would say, okay, let's play the game. You know, I forgot how old are you. Are you 60? You know, squeeze one if you're, yes you are,

if you're not, and she literally would go, and she would squeeze my hand. So we continued to play the game. The level of questioning changed because she couldn't verbalize a lot of things, right? It became a yes, no kind of interaction. But what was amazing was literally until the day before she passed away, we were playing the game, but we were playing it physically where I was.

You Forgot (08:30)
Mm-hmm.

Woof!

Glenna Hecht (08:44)
talking to her own eye

You Forgot (08:44)
Woof!

Glenna Hecht (08:45)
and she was squeezing my hand.

You Forgot (08:47)
when you realized your mom was showing signs of dementia. Was that over a long period of time or was it a fairly quick process?

Glenna Hecht (08:58)
Well, you're going to ⁓ maybe not be surprised. So my mom was in Chicago and I moved to Dallas. ⁓ And part of it was I had a great job, but the other reason was we were somewhat contentious and I felt like moving away was the best way to deal with our relationships. So we were estranged and I would get phone calls, that were really...

interesting and I would just go, hmm, you know, forget it. And things like living by herself, the building manager would call and say, she's claiming someone came in her apartment to eat a cake, right? And I'd call her up and go, mom, did someone come in your apartment to eat a cake? And she'd go, hmm. And you could tell she was trying to process it. I go, is it possible you ate the cake? And she'd go, ha ha ha, yeah, I guess I did. You know, so I got.

Unusual phone calls like that, but we were not close, so I can't tell you that I witnessed a lot. ⁓ Sporadic conversations. And there's a chapter in the book, and boy was it a hard one to write. When I was called to Chicago and she had gone missing, I obviously stayed in her apartment, right? And she was in a hospital, they were doing some testing, and I was in the apartment and came face-

face face with the stuff that I missed. And it was...

gut wrenching. was so hard because opening up a closet and there's 30 some odd white shirts with tags on them, right? Or 160 or 30 pairs of pantyhose that are in the wrapping. Half eaten food in plastic containers in the cupboard. And I went through all of it and cleaned up and I was trying to

for some things and so there was a reason for opening everything up but when I saw what I saw it was sadness for her but it was such enormous guilt and I have no doubt that a lot of the people that are listening feel that way as well like why didn't I know well because you didn't you know what I mean you knew when you knew and

If there's one message that I'm really intent on giving to caregivers, not only about the game, but that you are doing the best you can. This stuff is hard. And, you know, I've done corporate work for amazing companies, had thousands of people I was responsible for, and this is the hardest job I ever had. No kidding. ⁓ Keeping your cool. Learning while you're doing.

trying to be a resource and make sure your parent or your friend or lover or whatever partner is safe. It was so tough and the more I realized what I missed, the more guilty I felt. And then finally went, know what, give yourself some grace, all you can do is show up now. And... ⁓

So I would love to say I knew about it for years. The answer to that is mm-mm. I knew about it when I knew about it. And it was the moment that I was thrust into the role of caregiving.

You Forgot (12:33)
I think a lot of the listeners will agree with the guilt. My story is similar in that I was taking care of my dad and that was long distance. But I feel like I missed so much of my mom's changes.

weird new habits, ⁓ the buying a lot of one thing. I missed it all because I was dealing with my dad.

Glenna Hecht (12:51)
Yep.

You Forgot (12:57)
⁓ going through her house, like you said something in the book about your mom had hiding places for stuff someone else was trying to help my mom and they were looking for something and I'm like, I'll be there and like fly home and I knew all the childhood hiding places. Like she had this weird lock box in the basement.

Glenna Hecht (13:16)
Yep. Yep.

You Forgot (13:19)
One of her bureau drawers was a hiding place, one drawer in the kitchen, and yeah, they just start doing all kinds of fun stuff.

Glenna Hecht (13:28)
Interesting

things, yeah. I went to the hiding places because the day that she went into the hospital, I didn't have any paperwork. I didn't know if she did it, but if she did, I didn't know where it was. So I thought, okay, if it's here, let's turn her apartment upside down. So the reason I found all of those shirts and... ⁓

hosiery and food in containers was looking for her power of attorney, her will, everything that was there. And I mean...

looking under mattresses, crawling under beds, looking behind pictures. I tried everything and nothing was there. ⁓ And then finally through sort of a mental process of elimination, found her, you know, little paper phone book, which you know our parents still have and going through and looking for familiar names and found somebody. And her son was an attorney and I thought, okay, if anybody might know something, she might know

something and that was a call that I made and it led me to the paperwork so fortunate for that.

You Forgot (14:38)
So yeah, you had an extra hurdle there. You said you were estranged from your mom, so trying to find contacts and people that could help you find a lawyer she may have talked to, like, that had to be really hard.

Glenna Hecht (14:55)
It was, I think the whole thing is really hard. mean, your situation was really hard and it's all hard in different ways, right? And I'm an only child, so I'm the only one that was there to do it. And I just figured, you you step up and...

You Forgot (15:03)
Yeah.

Glenna Hecht (15:15)
I've done that in my job for years and I figured, okay, this is just another role for me to take on and I'll figure it out one step at a time, right? And that's really, I think, what caregiving is, is, you know, all you can do is one step at a time.

and then rely on people and call on people to help you and to learn so that the next step is easier, right? And you try something new. And so, yeah, it was hard and it was scary, but fortunately I found her paperwork which allowed me to look at assisted living facilities and bring to the hospitals and all of that. it worked out, but.

I think that the myopanic was certainly ⁓ doused by the level of guilt that I was feeling. So if I looked at them on the scale, that one was a little lower than, know, my God, I missed this and I wish I wouldn't have.

You Forgot (16:11)
Right. So how do you think...

taking over your mom's care and eventually you moved her to your state, right? Like when she went to assisted living. How did your relationship change?

Glenna Hecht (16:19)
Yeah, yeah.

my gosh, it was totally different. Well, ⁓ she was in Chicago in an assisted living facility for six weeks. That's how long it lasted.

You Forgot (16:32)
⁓

Glenna Hecht (16:32)
And she kept trying to run out the door to walk to her apartment, which was 20 miles away. So it became clear I needed a mover. And I moved her to Dallas. ⁓ And then she was in another facility. And she was there for about 10 weeks. And then they kicked her out because she was a flight risk. And so I moved her again. So imagine moving

three times in six months ⁓ It was a lot. And you know, the relationship in the first couple of years was frustrating. You know, I loved having her there, but I was so intent on fixing her and making this problem go away that I think I enjoyed her, but I had a mission first, right?

You Forgot (17:20)
Right.

Glenna Hecht (17:21)
And then when I started to encounter the game and everything that came from it, what I learned was extraordinary. It was such a gift. And our relationship was so rich and so changed that it really, her dementia was just such a gift to me.

by the end of the time that she was on the earth, if you will, there was nothing left unsaid, nothing. I mean, we laughed and we talked and just...

It completely repaired a relationship. And there were some things that happened that I outlined in the book that shifted that. Now, I can share them with you. But ⁓ I would say it was the greatest gift. It really, really was. And the game is what got me there. So a completely healed relationship, which was remarkable.

You Forgot (18:19)
When you were realizing you were creating a game organically, you decided to ask this question one day, did you immediately start writing it down, I wanna do something with this, or did it just repetition every day, were just like...

Glenna Hecht (18:33)
such

a good question. ⁓ it's funny how the game kind of started in my mind and it didn't start as a game. It started as a message. And I think you probably remember there was a chapter in the book where I lost, completely lost my stuff. ⁓

Not a surprise for most caregivers. And I went to visit her and she had repeated the same thing six times. And every time I tried to correct her, she would look at me and go, and then she would start again. And I could feel like the energy and the blood going like, all the way up to the top until I finally stood up and went, I heard you and said it really loud and nobody looked.

Nobody, none of the caregivers, none of the people that worked in the facility, nobody. And it told me that level of behavior was common, but it's not common for me. And it wasn't the way that I wanted to show up. So I was so mortified by how I behaved. I ran out of the facility, it was raining, and I sat in my car and cried.

And then I went home and I crawled in the closet and cried myself to sleep. I was so embarrassed that I kept going, you're better than this. You don't yell at your mother, right? And that was after I had tried everything to learn how to be with her. And obviously it didn't work. So I got up and what was so interesting, Sue, was that the words that were in my head repeat

was to be present, observe, listen, travel. Be present, observe, listen, travel. And I didn't feel like I knew what it was, but it felt like it was some direction, right? And so I said, all right, then if that's what this is, then I'm just gonna be present. I'll be with her. I'll hold her hand. I'll watch what's going on. But this fixing stuff, not working. So I put it kind of to the side.

You Forgot (20:28)
Yes.

Glenna Hecht (20:43)
And when I first, about a year later, had asked her how old are you and she said, yes, we played kind of back and forth. And over time, I refined how I asked those questions, right? And I put in the book that there's an art to playing it and there are rules that you have to follow. And you've seen, I'm sure you've seen when you look at your parent or your loved one or your partner or your neighbor, that there are days

where they're really, really old. Like you can see they're just sort of hunched over and their face looks drawn and their speech is aged. And then there are days where they look like they've wound back the clock and man, they are spirited and energized. And the more observant I became, I would guess younger or older. And I learned that through trial and error. So one day she was

apparently younger in her mind and I said to her, are you 70? And she goes, do I look that old? And I was like, whoa. So I went, okay, you missed on that one. ⁓ But there were very clear rules of how to play the game. And I outlined that in the book, right? And so

You Forgot (21:50)
Love that.

Glenna Hecht (22:03)
As I refined it, it became much easier for me to play because I had history playing it and I knew what to do right and wrong. I will also tell you, the game saved me. No kidding, Sue, that there were times that every caregiver is frightened of. And one of those that I'm sure you may have experienced is when you think, what do I do when my parent doesn't know who I am? And we dread it.

And you go, you know, it's going to happen. What am I going to do? ⁓ And it happened to me. But when I saw that she didn't know who I was, what was in my head was play the game, play the game, play the game. And I stopped and I played the game. And my mom was at an age before I was born. So it wasn't that she didn't know me. I did not exist.

So you say to yourself, okay, I can't know somebody when they're not in my sphere, right? So I was so thankful that it got me through these really, what it could have been devastating moments with some peace and ease, if that makes any sense.

You Forgot (23:02)
Fascinating.

⁓ it makes a ton of sense. Yeah.

Glenna Hecht (23:24)
It's pretty remarkable, I know. It's unusual and it's exciting and I think the most interesting thing about it Sue is that doctors for years have said, meet them where they are, but there's no...

handbook, rule book, game that says first you do this, then you do this. And I just sort of stumbled upon it. And then it took me 11 years to write the book, which is a whole different question I'll talk about.

You Forgot (23:57)
I like this one part in your book and it just makes you feel like a helpless kid. But when you say there was no cure, no outsmarting dementia, I am not a doctor, I am not a scientist, I am her kid. That got me because I just, you know, when you're sick, you want your mom. Like all of sudden, you know, it's like you're watching your mom not be your mom anymore and

I'm so happy for you that you figured this out to have more, what's the word? I don't know, but like that time together, and it was a long time. how long from when she was, when you moved her to Texas, like seven years or?

Glenna Hecht (24:39)
So nine years, so she

had dementia for nine years, and then they put her on hospice for seven. And ⁓ we played the game for about seven-ish years, a little under, but ⁓ until the game was refined, it was a little messy in the beginning, as you'd imagine, but we played it off and on for seven years. And it gave me my mom back. ⁓ No question, gave me my mom back.

You Forgot (25:05)
Yeah, it's.

No, it's remarkable. I think this book should be in everybody's hands, every caregiver's hands. I think it should be in every lobby of an assisted living facility. I mean, when you're sitting there waiting for the meeting to happen, you can just flip through these books, you know? It's so good.

Glenna Hecht (25:09)
Thank you.

Thank

And the type

is big and it's an easy read, right? But I'll tell you, will you? So you don't have to let go like this. You can hold it away. It's great. Yeah. It's funny when I was putting the book together, I had somebody say to me, are you going to do it in hardback? And I said, absolutely not. And they're like, why? I said, because you've obviously not been a caregiver.

You Forgot (25:29)
I love the big type too. I do love the big type. Yeah. Yeah.

Glenna Hecht (25:52)
Caregivers roll something up, put it in their handbag, they put it in their back pocket, they're holding onto their parents. So, you know, you don't have that many hands. And ⁓ I said, no, I want to make this really easy for people to be able to do this. But I'll share with you something that I don't share often, but I think it's important for your listeners. And that is ⁓ it did take 11 years to write this book.

I knew when I found the game and I shared it with other people that it worked and I wanted to start writing it but my mom was still alive and I knew, you know, what the end would look like but not exactly. So I thought wait until she passes away and then when she did it hit me really hard. You know, both my parents were gone and I went, no, you need to take some time to grieve, right? And I did for a couple of years and then I sat down to write

the book. And I wrote some of the stories that are actually in the book. And then I looked at it and I went, you know what, it's not real. It's not real enough because it was about her and I never shared how hard it was for me. I never was willing to become

vulnerable and raw and how I screwed it up and what I did and I put it all away and I used to think about all the time I need to become the person who's willing to share this book.

And it took a long time, right? Because I'd been in companies and I'd sort of been the, you know, the fixer. And here I was having to say, I screwed it up in the beginning. I didn't know what the heck I was doing. I tried everything and none of it worked until I just had to say, just be with her and love her. And then out of that came the game eventually. But I needed to be vulnerable.

was a really scary place to go. And so it wasn't until last year that I went, now I'm ready. And now I have a responsibility to myself and to other people to put this on paper. And that's what happened. so ⁓ I mean, I have good friends who read the book and said, I never knew it was like this. Can you imagine? So I hate it from everybody. ⁓

You Forgot (28:21)
Yes.

Glenna Hecht (28:24)
And I thought, you know what, my story is probably a lot like a lot of other people's stories and they feel like they're alone. And I want them to know, I want caregivers to know you're not alone, that we all feel similar things, it's hard. And you you're putting one foot in front of the other every day and you are a hero. And so that for me was the most important message to share.

You Forgot (28:53)
And I'm thankful that you did because I was the same way. I had a couple of good girlfriends and people, you know, helped me with my mom, but not really. Like I didn't talk about it. didn't, nobody knew I would be like in the fetal position all day waiting for like the phone not to ring from the place. And like I was a shell of myself.

Glenna Hecht (29:18)
Yeah.

You Forgot (29:19)
stress, weight loss, like absurd amount of weight I looked sick and I felt sick, but like you said, you you didn't share it and you just sat there in it and I didn't talk about how guilty I felt, how I screwed everything up, how I should have done this way. Like I never talked about that until I started talking to Joanna.

Glenna Hecht (29:25)
Hmm.

Mmm.

You Forgot (29:48)
And we were talking about, you know, potentially starting the podcast or whatever, but I buried all of that and would have nightmares all the time. I don't have them anymore. It's just like sharing for me and have talking and meeting people like you that are vulnerable now, you know, now. And we could share hope, like if it helps one person. That's that.

Glenna Hecht (30:00)
Wow.

Thank you.

Oh, my mission is

done, absolutely. caregivers, think, are really afraid they're going to do it wrong. You know what I mean? It's like there's, you know, I have to follow a certain path and there's no...

You Forgot (30:18)
Yeah, like if

Right.

Glenna Hecht (30:31)
at least what I learned was, there is no one right way to do it because they're different, right? And you just have to kind of flex with it and listen to a doctor and that part of it. But my piece of it was not the medical, it's how do you relate to them, right? How do you have a conversation when they're scared? When you're scared, you know, how do you do that? And... ⁓

You Forgot (30:48)
Right.

Glenna Hecht (31:00)
I don't know that any of us really know. I know that this worked for me and, you my hope is that other people try it and it works for them. I know folks have. But that people go, okay, there's something out here in my bag of tricks that I can try to use. That's what I hope.

You Forgot (31:20)
I think you're right, I love it. I think it's a great little handbook.

Glenna Hecht (31:25)
Thank you, thank you.

You Forgot (31:26)
I love it. You know who's gonna, when I was reading it, I thought about Joanna and her mom because she's at that point now where we call her mom Gaga. she is not remembering Joanna when she walks in and ⁓ I know it's really hard on her and she was like, this is what we're trying next visit. So we'll see how that goes.

Glenna Hecht (31:33)
you

You'll have to let me know, you know, what that is and how it works. Yeah, and it's interesting, you know. ⁓

You Forgot (31:51)
I will, of course.

Glenna Hecht (31:57)
The very last chapter of the book, which I know you read, was the stories from other people. And the one that it just like knocked me over was a gentleman that I do business with networking. And he's very stoic, very proper, very professional. And I saw him one day. We were meeting for business.

Not only did he look exhausted, but you know when you see somebody and they look like they've been run over by a truck And you're trying to figure out you know what happened, so I said to him What is going on with you? Are you okay? And he goes no he said my father his father was in his 80s, and he had taken him to Multiple doctors because his father didn't feel well He kept he claimed that he had pain and they were running all these tests nothing right nothing

nothing conclusive was showing up. And my friend said, not only is this time consuming and expensive, it's frustrating because he's in pain, they don't know what's going on, I feel helpless, and I said, okay, are you willing to try something a little out there? And he goes, you know, I'll try anything at this point. So I wrote down the questions to ask and we practiced, right?

was like, okay, I'm him, you're, know, go back and forth. And I said, please try it and let me know how it goes. So he called me a couple of days later, Sue, and he says, are you a witch? And I said, well, I'm sure there are people that might think that, ⁓ not particularly. And I said, why? And he goes, well, his father in his eighties was stuck in the loop.

You Forgot (33:46)
You know.

Glenna Hecht (33:53)
Right? And anybody that has been a caregiver knows it's like a record, right? They're stuck in a groove and it kind of keeps going around. And he was stuck in a loop where he thought he was in his 50s. In his 50s, he had heart trouble. So imagine, here's a guy in his 80s who thinks he's in his 50s. He had heart trouble in his 50s, but his brain doesn't know the difference. Whoa.

No, mean, you try to put your head around that and go. And so, you know, he said to me, this is amazing. He's reliving his heart trouble. Right? And he goes, what do I do? So I said to him, I didn't put this in the book, but it was hilarious. I said, go buy M &Ms, get a bottle, put all the green ones in there.

and say to him, have heart medicine for you. You have to take one of these a day and you will feel so much better. He goes, okay, okay. I go, know, number one, they can't do anything to him. They're ⁓ &Ms, right? And sure enough, his pain would go away because he's like, I'm taking my medicine, right?

You Forgot (35:17)
A little deception never hurt anyone.

Glenna Hecht (35:19)
Absolutely,

but I thought, okay, it's a remarkable story and it tells you how powerful the mind is, right? And we know that, we know that to be so, but that was one of the stories where I went, wow, you know, and if this gave all parties involved some peace of mind, ⁓ and he went back to the doctor and said, you know, let me tell you what's going on, but it just...

It's something that I'm very proud and excited to share and I hope that it helps a whole lot of people.

You Forgot (35:56)
I think it will. can you tell the listeners where we can find the book?

Glenna Hecht (36:00)
Yeah, absolutely. It's on Amazon in ebook and in paperback and will soon be in audible as I'm recording my voice with that. I also know it's wherever books are sold, so it's on, you know, the lots of the dot coms, et cetera. But easy enough is Amazon. And my goal, I think you would mention, is not only to donate 30 % of the proceeds, but certainly to get in a lot of hands.

and donate two million dollars to Alzheimer dementia research because we need it. We need to figure out what we can do to slow this down and stop it and help people.

You Forgot (36:41)
Well, I love it. And I'm very thankful that you came on the podcast and shared. Well, I will say we had made a post on a Facebook group that we're both a part of and we are asking caregivers or people that were maybe potentially just starting their caretaking journey, what they what advice they would share and numerous people.

Glenna Hecht (36:43)
Thank

Thank you. Thank you for you invited me.

Right.

You Forgot (37:10)
posted check out this book check out this book check out this book and we're very thankful to that community too for pointing us in your direction because it's a great it's a great idea it's doable it makes sense and like you said it's like easy to understand and it and I Love how you say that you you need to like gauge their day like see where they're at as far as like if they're having an alert great day or they might not want

Glenna Hecht (37:18)
Thank you.

Yeah.

Yeah.

You Forgot (37:40)
They might not want to play your game that day. And then he just, you but.

Glenna Hecht (37:45)
You let it go.

Watch their eyes, touch their knee. mean, it's all, there's a lot of the rules that are there that I try to share with people to give them some space and something to hold onto. And there's a line in the book that ⁓ keeps coming back to me from other people, and it's that dementia's not something you fix, it's something you face. And.

You Forgot (38:09)
Yes.

Glenna Hecht (38:10)
As a caregiver, we all have to, right? Because that's what a caregiver does. ⁓ So yes, it's wonderful. And I also shared a freebie with you. Feel free to talk about that if you want to with people through the QR code. Perfect.

You Forgot (38:26)
Yeah, we'll post all that fun stuff too. Yeah,

I need people to get this book. In closing, I'm just gonna read part of the, on the back, I just love these lines. This is not a manual, this is a love story, and it could change the way you walk this path with someone you love and with yourself. I think that kind of sums it up.

Glenna Hecht (38:48)
Makes me cry. Thank you. Thank you. You mean a lot. Thank you for having me and for doing what you do. Really important. And thank you everyone for listening. Yeah.

You Forgot (38:49)
Makes me cry. Thank you, Glenna. Thank you for being here.

We're going to get

some great feedback from this one. I can tell. This book is so good. Everybody, I'm not even just saying that because Glenn is in my face. Thank you.

Glenna Hecht (39:10)
Thank you.

grab the Kleenex though. That's what I've been told is everyone says you go through at least a box when you read it.

You Forgot (39:18)
You know what? I can see that, but I was so excited reading it. I was proud of you. I was excited. I had a dopamine rush. this is really a great tool. Like I was really excited reading it because I felt like it was, it's hopeful. It's not a...

Glenna Hecht (39:25)
And thank you.

Thanks. Thank you.

You Forgot (39:38)
you know, tragic story about dementia. And it's not super sad because you and your mom figured out how to forge a different type of relationship. And I think it's beautiful. It is a love story. And thank you for sharing it with us.

Glenna Hecht (39:53)
It absolutely is. ⁓

You know, when they go, right? And if you have a contentious relationship, you know, it leaves a lot of unsettled stuff inside and I didn't want to have that. And so it truly was a love story. Believe it or not, ⁓ her celebration of life is what was on her 100th birthday. And yeah, and so imagine going in and saying, hey, I'm going to have a celebration of life with lots of alcohol and balloons.

and hors d'oeuvres and cake and they're looking at me like I'm crazy and said we've never done that before and I go you're gonna do it now and ⁓ we did we celebrated everybody wore crowns which you'll get if you read the book ⁓ and had a huge cake and sang happy birthday and released balloons and drank a lot and it was truly the celebration of love and that's exactly what I have hoped it would have been.

You Forgot (40:56)
I love that. I love that you did that for her. And on her birthday. How perfect.

Glenna Hecht (41:01)
It was

honor birthday, so it was great. But thank you for you and for what you do for caregivers and people listening. And I just want to say thank you to your caregivers that are out there because you're doing really noble, important work. Yes.

You Forgot (41:18)
Heroes.

The hardest working people.

Glenna Hecht (41:21)
Absolutely. So thank you, thank you.

You Forgot (41:25)
Thank you for being here. We'll talk soon.

Glenna Hecht (41:27)
Okay, bye now.

You Forgot (41:32)
Okay, so thanks for listening and to learn more about Glenna, you could visit her website is Glenna Heck.com. It's G-L-E-N-N-A-H-E-C-H-T.com. Here you will find information on the book we just discussed. You could read her blog, What the Heck, and see her in action as a speaker and human resource expert. If you get a chance, please subscribe or you listen to this pod.

and follow, like, and comment on Instagram at youforgotpod. Thanks.