Meet Karen Klassen, Encourager

This week we welcome Karen Klassen to the pod.  Karen shares her experiences from her time in the corporate world , caregiving for her parents,  and   starting her multiple businesses.  She reminded us that caregiving, while challenging, is also a powerful teacher. There’s so much purpose and possibility.  To learn more about Karen's work or to connect with her coaching programs visit her on instagram @recipesforyourlife or her website https://recipesforyourlife.com/

Thanks For Listening!
Joanna Anderson & Sue Nicolaidis

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Transcript

You Forgot (00:00)
Hi, and thank you for tuning in to You Forgot That I Existed. I'm Sue Nicolaidis here with Joanna Anderson. We are daughters with moms with Alzheimer's disease and would love to share what we've learned from our caregiving experiences. We're talking the good, the bad, and the sometimes hilarious. We are definitely not experts, but we will find the doctors, lawyers, therapists, and other caregivers that can help make your load just a bit lighter. While our focus

On this podcast is Dementias and Caring for Your Loved One. We are also moms of college kids and dogs. We are wives and we are lovers of all things food, travel and pop culture. Our conversations inevitably pivot into a besties chat with relatable personal stories. Again, we're talking the good, the bad and the hilarious. We also love to share the books, shows, movies, music or Instagram accounts that have been a big bright spot in our week.

So thanks for being here. Hi, Joanna. What are you doing? Should we redo it?

Jojo (00:54)
I just burped. Sorry.

No, I mean leave it in. Who cares? I burped. Okay, let's...

You Forgot (01:04)
I didn't hear it. didn't even

know. You know, Andy Cohen was like burping like a crazy person on an episode of Watch What Happens Live. Actually, he was like, I just hiccuped. But it was like a lot of it.

Jojo (01:15)
You know, I need some gas ex. I'm bloating.

You Forgot (01:17)
It

happens.

Jojo (01:18)
I've got a Costco size one downstairs. I should just carry it with me at all times. Yes. Just, I just need it. Okay, we have a really fun episode today with someone that I'm gonna interview. But I have a save it for the pod that I haven't told you yet because it just happened yesterday.

You Forgot (01:23)
G gasex?

Okay. ⁓

Jojo (01:37)
And I was like, my God, I'm going to save it for the pod, even though it has nothing to do with Alzheimer's, but it was just a personal high. Okay. First of all, let me preface this by saying I have two spiritual gifts. My first spiritual gift is parallel parking. I can park in any car in any spot. First time I can park a school bus parallel park. I don't know why, and I'm not flexing. It's a really a gift from God. My second spiritual gift.

is playing Mario Kart. I'm just really good at it. And I've been playing like since Jack got a Wii when he was like three years old, and I never let up on him. I was like when he was five, I was killing him. Like eat my dust. And so because of that, he is also very good at Mario Kart. Like to the point now where I can't touch him. He's just very good at it.

You Forgot (02:15)
Okay.

Jojo (02:27)
but he did get a new Switch this weekend or whenever it came out. So yesterday I was bored and I was like, hey, you wanna play Mario Kart? And he was like, duh. So we start playing and I'm just having like a really good game. I was just like vibing with my car and with my

character and I actually beat him in the first race. And of course I was obnoxious about it. I'm the worst winner ever.

I was like, screw you. I can't believe I beat you. Blah, blah, blah, blah. Just like really talking a lot of trash. But then I was like, I'm sure he's going to beat me in the next three races. he did beat me in the second race, but I beat him in the third and the fourth race. And that is my first time to beat him in an overall course since he was like five years old. As I'm winning, he's getting quieter and quieter and he's getting, he's steaming.

You Forgot (02:55)
Thank

you

Jojo (03:19)
He's pissed. And so I knew, let's not talk trash. I won graciously, didn't say a word.

He literally held his hand out and shook my hand and said, game. I nodded appropriately. And that was that. But inside, I was just jumping for joy. I've never beat him. I don't know. I was just having a great game. And so I did say, well, Jack, do you think any of your friends could say that their mom beat them in Mario Kart?

You Forgot (03:39)
you

Jojo (03:46)
He goes, I think the more appropriate question is, can any of my friends say that their mom plays Mario Kart? And the answer would

be no.

You Forgot (03:53)
That was a big win day for you!

Jojo (03:56)
I'm still on cloud nine about it and now I don't ever want to play him again. I gotta stay as a winner

You Forgot (04:02)
I'm really proud of you. Would you play on the switch?

Jojo (04:03)
Thank you. was

played on the Switch. So but the Switch like hooks up to your TV. So you're on the TV. And he gave me the good controller because he's a nice son.

You Forgot (04:10)
Yeah.

Is he gonna be like, that's why you won?

Jojo (04:15)
Well, I so I was trying to be like, go, well, maybe with the new switch, it just kind of makes it easier and not to get into too much into the weeds with Mario Kart. But they did adjust one thing where you don't have to hold the shell behind you. It holds automatically. And he was like, well, mom, if it's easier for you, wouldn't it also be easier for me? And I was like, true. Sorry, bud.

You Forgot (04:35)
You lost me at holding the shell. No idea. Yeah. But you know what that just reminded me of? Did you see Cocoa Golf win the French Open?

Jojo (04:37)
I know, it's too much. It's too much.

We watched it live. course, Sloan's not missing that.

You Forgot (04:47)
But did you see that her, the opponent, her press conference and like couldn't talk about a sore loser. She couldn't give Cocoa Golf the credit for beating her. She was like, she may have played great, but I just, I didn't play up to my standards. Like I wasn't giving it my, like, are you joking?

Jojo (04:51)
Yeah, what a beauty.

And that's, and she said, that's

why Cocoa won because I was, I'm like, get out of here.

You Forgot (05:09)
Yeah!

Chris Everett put out a statement. She's like if you're number one in the world or if you're number two in the world You better know how to play in the wind

Jojo (05:19)
That's right.

That's right.

You Forgot (05:19)
I was really

shocked by that. Like, woman is a adult athletic competitor and you can't be a little gracious? Shut her ass, B. Sore loser.

Jojo (05:22)
I'm here.

Like, get outta here.

⁓ Coco

was on the Today Show and she was like so cool about it and just so gracious and you know now she's headed to Wimbledon.

You Forgot (05:38)
I'm gonna root for her. Yeah, I should have known you were watching it. Mm-hmm

Jojo (05:39)
Speaking of, I just had a

client email me today asking for Wimbledon tickets, and I found them for, but those puppies are not cheap. $2,200.

You Forgot (05:49)
I'll do you...

Jojo (05:50)
2200 apiece. ⁓

You Forgot (05:50)
What?

How do you find them? Why, no. right, like event brokers and stuff. Gotcha. Well, I hope they enjoy it.

Jojo (05:53)
I've got people, I've got brokers.

Yeah.

They got the last two tickets on center court.

You Forgot (06:02)
Eveny crickets!

all right, since. No, I was going to say, since we have an interview for the episode, but I'm going to, I was going to ask you if you had any favorite things this week.

Jojo (06:05)
Okay, well, go ahead.

I do, and this is funny because Sloan, I was in cooking dinner and she's like, hey, there's this new show on Hulu called Adults. Do you wanna watch it with me? I'm gonna start it. It just came out like end of May. I was like, yeah, sure, whatever. Literally like three minutes later, you texted me, I'm watching a show called Adults. And I was like, here we go again, parallel lives. I was like, I just turned it on, but this is my new thing.

You Forgot (06:37)
Yeah.

Jojo (06:43)
We binged

so many episodes yesterday, so it's really funny. It's kind of like a Gen Z comedy, even though I'm Gen X, I still find the humor in it. It's five twenty-somethings that live in a house together in Queens, and it's just so painfully relatable. They're a total mess. They're really funny. They're always screwing up and overthinking and getting all in their feelings.

And it's just like this we're all figuring it out, but pretending we've got it all together vibe So if you want to watch it, it's on FX, but we're cord cutters So I watch it on Hulu and it's just it's inappropriate. Let's just say very inappropriate So don't watch it with little kids in the room, but it's hilarious

You Forgot (07:25)
Yeah, I've watched a couple episodes and it's so timely and topical, like with the health insurance, like the girl was gonna get fired.

Jojo (07:32)
Yes.

You Forgot (07:34)
wanted to get all the surgeries before her health insurance was gone. And then when they were, the girl was trying to get like a little promotion at work and was going to bring up like gender roles and stuff. And they're like, this is when you can strike, know, like, you know, it's like, it's what our kids are going to be, are dealing with now.

Jojo (07:53)
Yeah, I don't know if you've gotten to

the episode yet with the guy. I think his name is Anton and he's like a typical Enneagram seven makes best friends with everyone sharing his location with a bunch of strangers like something I would do. And he becomes best friends with this guy he met at a bar. The guy turns out to be like the famous Queen stabber. He's like a stabber.

You Forgot (08:16)
⁓

jeez.

Jojo (08:17)
But Anton, because he wants to be friends with everyone, will not tell him they can't be friends. It's just, I was like, I am that guy. I would be friends with the sabber.

You Forgot (08:28)
No, you wouldn't. Well, my favorite thing this week is I think you follow Isabel Klee on Instagram and TikTok. Her account is called SimonSits. She does a lot of work with animal rescue and she highlights her dogs and ends up getting them adopted.

Jojo (08:39)
Yeah, because you said to me.

You Forgot (08:50)
through like Muddy Paws and whatever agency she works with in New York City. But she's had a dog for over a month now and they thought he was gonna be a candidate for behavioral euthanasia. And she ended up being able to rehab this dog and he got adopted today. He got adopted today and the internet is all crying.

crying Snapchat from Jen. And so then I had to go look and see who adopted this dog. And it's another young couple, similar to the couple that we're fostering. And they have two other dogs at home, a fenced in backyard, all the things. they, you know, it seemed very quick. She said he was up for adoption like last week, like that approved. And yeah, so it's very sweet. It's called the account is SimonSits.

because her dog is named Simon, Isabelle's dog. Yeah, is Simon and he's perfect. It's so cute. The dog was the most fearful creature I've ever seen. the patience that this couple showed, I mean, really turned this little guy's life around. It's really cute. mean, for sure. And you know, he had a bunch of teeth.

Jojo (09:57)
They saved his life!

You Forgot (10:02)
like a couple weeks into the fostering. And I think that was the turning point. I think this little guy was incredibly, like in so much pain, you know, that if you can't, if you went to pet him, everything, he reacted like bite. He, I guess maybe if you take out all his teeth, then he doesn't, can't bite you anymore. There's a way to get him adopted. But no, he turned into a different dog.

Jojo (10:19)
You know what?

aww, he was in pain

You Forgot (10:26)
He was in pain. So there you go. So that's that's enough out of us. We're going to switch this over to your interview.

Jojo (10:29)
All right.

Alrighty, so stay tuned for our interview with Karen Claussen.

Jojo (11:36)
Okay, today's guest is a true Texas original and a powerhouse of reinvention. Raised in McKinney, just north of Dallas, she left the corporate tech world to follow her entrepreneurial spirit, launching a clothing boutique that eventually led her into gifts, gourmet foods, and event planning. In 2003, she opened Spoon's Cafe in downtown McKinney, which quickly became a beloved community staple.

She didn't stop there, later adding a craft cocktail bar called The Garage and in response to the pandemic, creating Spoon Fed, a meal subscription service. Now as a transformational coach, she empowers women to embrace change, pursue purpose and create lives they love with her platform, Recipes for Your Life. Please welcome the ever inspiring, encourager and serial entrepreneur, Karen Claussen. Hi Karen.

Karen Klassen (12:26)
Hello?

Hello?

Jojo (12:28)
can't see you all of sudden, but there you are. It was me. Okay. Surprise, surprise, technical difficulties. Well, thank you so much for coming on our podcast today to talk about Alzheimer's and then to talk about some new ventures that you have going on. I'm going to start out with what do they call a softball question? Karen, you've had such a dynamic career.

Karen Klassen (12:30)
Ready?

Well, surprise, surprise.

gosh.

Jojo (12:51)
from corporate to clothing to cafes, what motivated each shift, and how did those transitions prepare you for your current work as an encourager?

Karen Klassen (13:02)
goodness, that's so interesting. That's a lot of years we got to cover real quickly. Well, I started, I grew up in McKinney, Texas, and I just was not ready for college. And it's interesting, my mom had a master's, my dad had a college degree, but for somehow I just took a different route and went to work for EDS, Electronic Data Systems.

Right after I graduated, I was one of their youngest employees, barely 19 years old. And I know it's a crazy story. I mean, it doesn't even make sense. But you know, I think if we try to make sense out of this life, we're going to go cuckoo. So anyway, I started on that journey and got into computer software. It's it's one of those things that I've noticed with a lot of creative people. We do have that math, analytical side to us.

Jojo (13:30)
my God.

Karen Klassen (13:50)
The more I speak with like an art teacher I'm taking from is a retired math teacher and she became an artist at 55 and has art in galleries and stuff You know, so it's it's interesting because I think sometimes well, we're all creative, but that's a nother ring I'll go down that road later on so I started out in computer technology did very well in it They were kind of shocked because I would ace these tests and stuff. I was kind of shocked because

Jojo (13:50)
Totally.

Karen Klassen (14:15)
I'd be in there with these people that were like brainiacs and I'd be like, anyway, so along that journey, I ended up finally getting into computer software sales and did very well at that. then at 35, I was just like, I'm not doing this anymore. was back, and you gotta realize I'm only 65. It was 30 years ago. in technology, and I was traveling all over the country and actually Canada and things like that all the time.

Before cell phones, had beepers, know, before Google Maps before any of that. So, you know, you had the the maps from the rent car station, you know, that you would follow and find in at night and everything. And it just got hard. You know, it was just hard. And I had no life. I haven't been married yet. So I'm available.

Jojo (14:54)
Yeah.

Karen Klassen (15:03)
And you know children, I mean it just was that kind of. Busyness so at 35 I I was like I'm done so I moved I came back to McKinney and I started this little clothing store. My mom was the real encourager with that because you just love clothes and you've always left clothes and you've always done this and that you should open a little store. You McKinney's coming up. McKinney is getting bigger in Bob Bob Bond. She had a little antique store upstairs. She was a teacher.

She had a little antique store upstairs called Top of the Roost. It's in the same building where Spoons is now. So long story short, I started a little clothing thing on the side upstairs. It was called Kay Feathers and Company. And then just decided, ignorance is really bliss in a lot of things. And at 35 years old, you don't think about your benefits. You don't think about, there's just a lot of things you don't, you're like, I don't know, I can make this money.

And I just quit my job. One day I got my last commission check and quit my job and then decided, you know, had had moved back to McKinney, which I had left and said I'd never be back. And I started and so I went into this clothing business and. How quickly found out that the big the Lexus had to go the there's a lot of things that had to go and. I.

It just there was something and I do love clothes and I love fashion and I love style and all that but but there was something in me that was like this is not what you're supposed to do. I don't know what what that was so somebody come in I ended up doing putting together a big event for them and that's how the event business because I've gone to so many events in the corporate world I could see what was done wrong. I was really good at I'm very good at seeing what needs to be done and making sure these things happen and.

Jojo (16:42)
Totally.

Karen Klassen (16:43)
it and also, you know, kind of being ahead of what could go wrong.

and doing kind of crisis management before crisis. And so I did that and my event business, I had a catering lady that we became friends. She ended up getting sick, gave me her catering business. I wasn't even a cook. But she goes, but you're your business. And that's good, tell everybody. Sorry, that's a big girl. Business is business is business. I don't care if you're selling computer software, if you're selling a dress, if you're selling

a sandwich like I do now. You create, you have a product. You feel the need for people, right? And I would do everything the way, if I was going to the event, I would do that event like I would want to be an attendee. In my restaurant, everything we do from the seats I pick to the food I serve, it's something that I would eat.

It's somewhere I would sit. It's somewhere I would go, right? So. I remember when I started spoons, so anyway, long story short, I shut the dress business down. I had a boyfriend at the time I would make him a salad. I was doing this catering aside. He said you should open a restaurant. I said you've lost your mind. I've never even worked in a restaurant. Fast forward six months later, I'm opening Spoons Cafe with the ovens out of my house.

Jojo (17:35)
Yeah.

my god.

Karen Klassen (17:55)
Because remember,

I was driving a used minivan at this time that my dad bought me catering out of it. And those were the good days. I still love that Honda little used minivan. That sucker could go for days, days on a gas tank. so open spoons took the ovens out of my house because I didn't have any money. Had bought a few.

leftover tables from a restaurant that was going out of business. And 30 days later, I opened Spoon's Cafe with an auction house refrigerator, a pie case that came from the Goodwill and Sherman, two knives, KitchenAid mixer, ovens out of my house, a small panini grill, and two burners.

Jojo (18:33)
It's insane. Where did that courage come from?

Karen Klassen (18:36)
It's,

I have no idea. Honestly, I have no idea. I just gonna say God, I don't know what else to say. You know, because I mean, it makes no sense at all. Everybody told me I was crazy. Downtown McKinney was boarded up. People are like, nobody's gonna go downtown to eat breakfast. And I said, well, I will. I would, my friends would.

Jojo (18:44)
Yeah.

Karen Klassen (18:58)
Because when I lived in Dallas, we would always go out to breakfast. It was just a fun thing to do. And I said, yeah, I said, well, I would. So I opened Spoons. I went and signed a lease. I took over a space, but I would not sign a lease for four years. And I just was like, no, I have a problem with commitment, which is another podcast we could talk about. anyway, so four years later,

Jojo (19:02)
Totally.

Karen Klassen (19:21)
The boyfriend of course was gone because he needed someone that would spend more attention.

To him give you more attention and I was you know working seven days a week crazy tired, know 15 18 hours a day it was just insane and The landlord said here's this big leash you need to sign and the rent was going up crazy and my dad had bought this building in the early 80s and Somehow I talked him into and he just said let's yes, let's do it. He put the building up and

I built Spoon's Cafe. And because I could pay him the rent, that would be over what the note would be at the time to build the restaurant. And you've got to realize too, the city of McKinney at that time was nowhere near where we are now. That was 20, almost 20 years ago. So I was able to get grandfathered in a lot of things. The cost, of course, was nothing like what it is now to open a restaurant. The city worked with me. They worked with me to open, I caught Baby Spoon's.

Jojo (19:56)
amazing.

Karen Klassen (20:21)
And then here we are 23 years later and yeah, I don't know.

Jojo (20:27)
And

for those of you that listen regularly, you know that I live in downtown McKinney. And before I ever even knew who Karen was, we were going to every Saturday morning for their pancakes with the kids. That's like a core memory my family has. It's a very like locally loved center of our community, Spins Cafe is. It really is. And I just love it. But this podcast,

Karen Klassen (20:48)
We are, thank you.

Well, thank you.

Jojo (20:54)
is about Alzheimer's, so I have to touch on that. And what some people don't know is your mom had Alzheimer's. While all of this was going on, can you tell us a little bit about that and what were your first signs that you saw with her?

Karen Klassen (21:01)
She did.

You know, it's interesting because of course now hindsight is really, really so much better. And back then when my mom was diagnosed, I had had spins. mean, I think honestly, I think the symptoms were there when she was in her early seventies. You know, I really do now looking back because my mom was very independent. She had this red rib area Buick.

And she would just take off. We had a little place to like, she would go up to the lake with her puppy dog by herself and she'd take off and drive. And then one day she didn't want to drive anymore.

And my dad's like, what's going on? You know, and there were signs, you know, that she just was just kind of just, just, just not, I can, it's terrible to say right now, but I can look at people in their eyes and almost tell and ask them, what's wrong with your parent? What's wrong with your mom? Is something about your mom? It's the most, it's the most bizarre thing. There's a look that goes into their eyes.

Jojo (21:43)
Yeah.

Sue and I say that.

Karen Klassen (22:04)
And my mom was very educated, very smart. But when she would, you'd look in their eyes and you could tell that they were really, really, really, really trying to remember who you were or who that person or what they want to say. And they just can't remember. So that was one of the first things. there's so much more knowledge now. You know, I don't know.

I don't know, I just remember we were in a lot of denial and we never called it Alzheimer's.

Jojo (22:32)
Totally. It's such a common story.

Karen Klassen (22:33)
We never did. I mean, we did like finally, but

you know, but but we just didn't. I mean, because there's just so much.

It is scary. It's very scary. And it's to see this person slipping away and then you get mad at him. I mean, you how you just go through all this. What's wrong with you? You know, what's wrong with the mom? What's wrong? And she would always kind of order the same thing. Her favorite thing to say was like anything with shrimp. Like we got to eat anything with shrimp, anything with shrimp. I want some shrimp. I mean, it was just because she could remember that.

Jojo (22:51)
Yeah.

See you.

Karen Klassen (23:04)
and wants

you to order for, know, so there's little signs along the way that I think looking back, I would know now.

Jojo (23:13)
Yeah, this is

such a common theme in our podcast. Everyone we interview is like, I was in denial. Now looking back, even my own story, like I should have known probably five years before I finally figured it out with my mom. There were just signs everywhere. ⁓

Karen Klassen (23:20)
Ugh.

yeah,

one of my mom's big signs was she would fall. Balance is a huge, huge thing. She would fall, my dad and her would travel the world, you know, cause my dad had a job that he would travel the world and she would always come back with skinned knees or she would just fall and you know, never really broke anything, never did that, but she was always falling. And

Jojo (23:32)
⁓

Karen Klassen (23:53)
Very style. My mom was very, very stylish, but she never, I mean, she had her own style and that's where I get a lot of my creativity, but she never would want to wear anything tight.

Of I don't either now, but you know what I mean? I don't want anything touching my body, but I mean kind of like it was almost and she wouldn't wear heels. I mean it was just little little things. But I'm not gonna say that because I don't wear heels either. I mean I do kind of have to watch my I wear trifocals and I fall down steps, but you know just. Just little things and I don't know. I was thinking about that before the podcast. It's like I was trying to think about all these feeling Alzheimer's. I was like there is no really.

Jojo (24:03)
Well, I don't

Karen Klassen (24:30)
Common thing, you know, it's men, it's women, it's young, it's old. It's like, I don't know, because I'm not a medical trained person. I'm sure they're doing research on it, but man, it is random.

Jojo (24:39)
It is so random. How long did you care for your mom and what did that look like?

Karen Klassen (24:43)
Well, when mom started getting really bad, decided, because my dad was not gonna put her in a home, that just was not gonna happen. She had a, this is interesting, it's like my mom's intuition told her she got a long-term care policy and my dad was so against that. She's like, no, I need a long-term care before she got sick. And she made my dad get one too. He quit his, but she wouldn't let him quit hers, okay? So bizarre.

So they had like a hundred and something thousand dollar long-term care policy. Now this, they got it though back, you know, you could still get them before all this now, you know, crazy, I'm sure. So she just had this weird intuition that she was gonna do that. So what we ended up doing was I bought a house that would allow them to live with me because I'm the oldest, I was single, you know, it was kind of just fell on me to

I well it became either I was gonna I didn't it just I'm not gonna say I would do it again but I probably would do it again just like we did it it was just one of those things I did so I bought a house she lived with me as soon as I got them moved in here she was getting up in a bar stool and she fell and and kind of hit her butt and she kind of just fractured a little bit in her pelvis and so we got her to the doctor and she was crying and at the emergency hospital

Jojo (25:48)
my goodness.

Karen Klassen (25:57)
And they just totally over medicated her and she never came back from it.

I mean, she's still alive, but she never talked again. And she was still talking and walking at the time.

Jojo (26:04)
⁓

never talked again.

Karen Klassen (26:08)
or what or fed herself or anything. Then she went into it, she almost died in the hospital because they so over medicated her, which I know now. And of course I'm not saying, I'm not blaming, mean, whatever, I just probably should have, could have, would have advocated more for not so much meds. But they always say that, you break a hip, you break a fall, you do.

Jojo (26:09)
horrible.

Right.

Karen Klassen (26:32)
That's when it just spirals down. But what happened was somebody they went in, she went into rehab. My dad hired a private nurse to stay with her in rehab. He would not, he was like, I'm not letting her be alone. I mean, he just was not going to have it. And so they would try to get her to walk and she would still smile and recognize me and you know, all that. and I was just sure she was going to come back. I really was just sure. And everybody was like, no, you know, she's not going to come back. And I'm like, what?

Jojo (26:52)
Yeah.

Karen Klassen (26:57)
So she ended up moving into my house and we got full time care for her. Her and my dad stayed in one of the bedrooms downstairs and you know, it was, we had full time care. The young lady would come in and then another one come in about two and then they'd go home about eight or something. They put mom to bed and then they'd be here in the next morning to get her up and feed her and all that. So golly, she was, she didn't, she lived probably 10 years like that.

Jojo (27:24)
That is insane. 10 years.

Karen Klassen (27:27)
Probably I could go back and look at the dates. I get all my years confused, but it was a long time and and you know, no, just yeah. I mean had to she couldn't. She was no mobile couldn't walk talk nothing like that. Yeah, on time.

Jojo (27:43)
And then,

so after she passed, what happened with your dad?

Karen Klassen (27:47)
He stayed for a few more years and then I was just exhausted. You know, we'd been through COVID. Had we been through COVID yet? I can't remember exactly, but I was just like, I don't think we've been through COVID yet. No, not yet. But I was just like, so he ended up, he's like, well, I'd like to live it a little while. I mean, I couldn't kick him out right after mom passed away. So it was just too much. So I said, yes, go ahead and stay. And then finally I was like,

Jojo (27:53)
Yeah.

Karen Klassen (28:11)
I need to downsize dad. need to do, you know, I need to get my life back to get, I need to get alive because I've been taking care of them, building a business and just basically surviving, surviving. So then he made him my brother and which was good because he started needing a lot more care. So my brother was able to take care of that. So anyway, and then my dad passed away two years ago in this March, it was two years ago.

Jojo (28:16)
Yes. Yes.

Yeah, totally. Yeah.

Okay.

Karen Klassen (28:38)
But I have never seen anybody so dedicated. He slept beside my mom. She had a hospital bed and then he had a little twin bed. He slept beside her for all those years. Yeah, it is. I just. It's so true about what it does to the caretakers. And people would say you need to take time for you. You need to. And I was like, I just look at it like, man, I'm just trying to survive right now. I'm just doing what I can do to survive, whatever that looks like.

Jojo (28:47)
It's so sweet. So, so sweet.

Right.

Well, and so speaking of that, what were some of your habits or mindsets that you learned or you leaned on during that time that you share with others now? Like, how do you get through a tough spot like that?

Karen Klassen (29:16)
I had a lot of therapy. I mean, I really, I really, and I spent, was thinking about how much money I spent on therapy in different types of therapies. And if the therapy doesn't work, find someone else, find something else that does work. I made your major therapy and I got a horse. I started riding a horse. Yeah, yeah. I started riding a horse at 50. Brilliant. Even though I'm a Texan.

Jojo (29:18)
Okay, I'm a huge believer.

I didn't know that.

Karen Klassen (29:39)
Anyway, and that was a big escape. There were probably a lot of things that I did in escape mode that I probably, if I would have been a little bit more sane, maybe not have done. But at that point, it was just like, I'm doing what I gotta do to keep, build a business, stay somewhat together. I didn't have any long-term relationships at all. had two old people living with me.

Jojo (30:05)
Right,

Karen Klassen (30:05)
I was still living with my parents

Jojo (30:05)
it's really a damper.

Karen Klassen (30:07)
and in my 50s, but actually, know, they're coming with me. But, you know, it's just not contrusive to dating. And so I had some good friends and I bought a house in the hill country about a little house down in Mason in the hill country. So I could go down there and just really escape from everything up here. You know, not only did I have the business, which is on the corner of the square, but I was raised in McKinney.

I had, you know, there was just so much, so much that I needed a place to escape for just me. To just be me. To figure out even who me, who even me is, you know? So.

Jojo (30:35)
Yeah.

Yeah, sometimes you actually

have to switch locations in order to trigger something.

Karen Klassen (30:43)
⁓

five hours away.

Jojo (30:45)
You

Karen Klassen (30:46)
You know, still driving, but you know it and. Yeah, so and I think. I think now there is so many of us that can help other people. And even just talking to someone that goes and I get it. I might not have the answer, but I get it. I know what you're how you feel. I know what you're thinking. I know it sucks. I know yeah. And you just have to write it out and do.

Jojo (31:09)
Yeah.

Karen Klassen (31:09)
Do what you need to do for you. And I'm sure you have this. I'm sure anybody who's been through this, a parent or is losing a parent to this, you start thinking back, I should have done this. I wish I would have done this. I wish I that. it's just like anything in life. You have to stop it. You have to stop it. Because I can get so much into that guilt, Joanna.

Jojo (31:24)
Yeah.

Karen Klassen (31:30)
and beating myself up and just want calling home. And that's not what this life is all about. I do think it changed to me as a person. Number one, it made me work on me. A lot. And it made me start realizing. OK, this is my life. What am I going to do now? And I think that we're all given these experiences, whatever it is, divorce, whatever, you know, whatever we label is bad, which I.

I don't like the word good. I don't like the word bad. I don't like labels. We have to go, OK, what can I do with this? What can I show? What can I help others do? you know, use it as as as strength. Even when we're going through it, I can think it OK. I can't if I wouldn't have had these experiences, I can't help you or anybody else. Right. You know, Brunei Brown talks about you want somebody and it's that quote she uses a lot about.

Jojo (32:15)
Yeah. Totally.

Karen Klassen (32:21)
You want someone that's been in the arena. Don't give me any advice if you haven't been in this arena with me. You know, you know, I just bye bye bye bye bye bye. That's what I want to tell people. Bye bye. Yeah, it's like bye bye. Don't got no time for that shit. Sorry. That's one. Yeah, but you know, I mean, there's just a point where you're like, I got you. You know.

Jojo (32:25)
Exactly.

Yeah, that'll preach. That'll preach.

No.

Yeah.

Karen Klassen (32:43)
It's hard to talk to someone about this if they've not been through this because you can't, you can't wrap your head around all the feelings you're going to have.

Jojo (32:51)
That's right. And they may feel sorry for you or want to connect with it, but if you haven't been through it, you just don't get it.

Karen Klassen (32:59)
No, no, you don't get it. And I'm grateful that there's, that y'all are doing this, that there's more people now that are learning about this so we can share it, you know? And it was absolutely one of the worst things I've ever been through in my life.

Jojo (33:13)
Yeah, totally.

Karen Klassen (33:14)
You just see someone and it is the long goodbye.

Jojo (33:18)
I say that all the time. It's the longest goodbye.

Karen Klassen (33:20)
I mean, every time you see

him, it's just a little extra and it just, and then when my mom passed, was like, was like, wow. And then you feel guilty because you're not really grieving when they pass.

Jojo (33:28)
Yes.

Well, you've

been grieving for 10 years.

Karen Klassen (33:35)
Yeah, grieving every day. And then, but now what's interesting, I'm starting to be able to grieve. I mean, it's like a delayed grief now. I think about my mom and certain things I do now, or I look at my knees and I'm like, when, third day I was like, when did I get my mom's knees? I mean, you know what I mean? I'm like, I mean, she had great legs, but really, I don't want to have saggy knees. You know, I mean, it's just funny. I look at certain things and then I wonder where some of my talent.

from and I'm like, my god, I wish I would have could have enjoyed this more when she was here. But you know, again, that's you just are what you are with mothers and daughters, you that's a whole nother podcast, right? But ⁓ I would just tell people find someone that's going through it with you. sorry, it says it's reconnecting.

Jojo (34:06)
Yeah.

It's complicated.

Yeah.

no, you're good. I can still see you and hear you.

Karen Klassen (34:25)
I like a

good okay good but you know I would just say you know reach out to you y'all you know tell message you because you've got so many contacts and resources and don't have coffee you know I'm always around. You know I'm good for a cup of coffee.

Jojo (34:39)
And I would say like,

don't be afraid to be vulnerable. I think we've had somewhat of a culture shift where people are now more open to talking about what's really going on and not just the superficial stuff. And maybe back in the day, people weren't as open to talking about it or listening to it. But you never know what someone's going through. And if you say, hey, this is what I'm going through. And uh-oh.

Karen Klassen (35:01)
yeah. I did lose you.

Jojo (35:02)
no.

Karen Klassen (35:03)
last year.

Jojo (35:04)
Hold on.

Jesus Christ.

that sucks.

You Forgot (35:07)
Hi guys, it's me Sue again. We did have technical difficulties and happy to say it wasn't our fault. It was our program. They were down for the rest of the day. So Joanna still had a question left for Karen. She was gonna ask her advice if you're thinking about turning a passion into a business. And I guess we have a cliffhanger. This is our first cliffhanger. So.

Next week we'll get those answers for you. But thank you for listening.