Little Lies

Sometimes you gotta lie, fib, and fabricate a story to break news to your loved one.  The term "Compassionate Deception "sounds so much nicer.

We discuss creative approach to breaking difficult news and share how one family used celebrity Cameo messages to tell their dad he was being move into Assisted  Living.  

 Joanna and Sue  explore the emotional challenges involved, the importance of compassion,  strategies for navigating tough conversations, and the  role of external resources and support systems for caregivers.

Thanks For Listening!
Joanna Anderson & Sue Nicolaidis

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Chapters

• 0:00 Home Reno Chaos
• 2:59 Reflections on Last Week's Episode
• 5:56 Valentine's Day and Gift Giving
• 8:59 Navigating Caregiving Conversations
• 11:52 Creative Approaches to Difficult News
• 18:07 The Aftermath of Breaking News
• 19:36 Navigating Difficult Conversations
• 21:47 The Role of Compassion in Caregiving
• 23:20 Being the Bad Guy: Tough Love
• 27:07 Resources for Caregivers
• 29:17 29:17 The Importance of Preparation

Transcript

Jojo (00:01)
One.

You Forgot (00:03)
Hi Joanna, what are you doing?

Jojo (00:05)
I'm

sitting here. I think I was just bitching to you about how my house is just in complete disarray. We had a roof leak that led to water damage that led to mold and so Jack's room is torn apart, no drywall. My upstairs bathroom torn apart, no drywall and then our contractor got the flu and hasn't been back to put walls back up and

You Forgot (00:34)
How long has that

been?

Jojo (00:35)
It's

been since last Monday. So it's been a week with no walls in those rooms. All of Jack's furniture is in the living room. And you know how small my house is. Like there's no room for that. And I just want to kind of die. That's where I'm.

You Forgot (00:51)
That's really

inconvenient. The flute, I mean, one guy can have the flute. Is there just one guy that works there? I mean.

Jojo (01:00)
I

don't think I have the full story. I'm like at this point, I'll just go to Home Depot and get some drywall and nail it. It can't be that hard.

You Forgot (01:08)
Hahahaha

I actually did drywall in a house once. My first house, I think, you know, we thought we were gonna be like big DIYers or something, but I like taped and mudded walls. I did.

Jojo (01:21)
way.

You did?

See, it does, I mean, it seems like if I could YouTube it, maybe I should just go to Lowe's and slap some up there.

You Forgot (01:34)
No, because you have to be able to cut it and all that nonsense. Yeah. You're just going to have to.

Jojo (01:37)
I'm not doing all that.

I'm gonna have to just call and start being squeaky wheel and stop being nice about it. Like then it's been a week with no walls and I mean, it's what state farm uses. So I don't know. You know, we have to do all this through our insurance.

You Forgot (01:47)
It's a week with no walls. Are these reputable people?

Uh-huh.

Jojo (02:00)
But I mean, I know you can't see this on the podcast, but like there's Jack's dresser just right in front of our front door. I can't live like, and he texted us and we've been kind of telling him like your room is a wreck right now and you're going to have to replug in all of his video crap. And he was like, well, can I come home this weekend? And we were like, no, you cannot. And it sucks because he hasn't been home in a month. And I'm like,

You have to stay up there till your room's put back together.

You Forgot (02:32)
Will, can you sleep in Sloanie's room?

Jojo (02:35)
I said that, but I don't think he wanted to do that. I think he's a little too scared of her. was like, stay and slumber him. He's like, nope, not doing that. So.

You Forgot (02:45)
Okay, boys.

Jojo (02:46)
rules

with an iron fist even from Washington DC.

You Forgot (02:51)
I believe it. She's a badass.

Jojo (02:55)
Okay, we got to talk about last week's episode.

You Forgot (02:59)
My brother, my big

brother. mean, I was getting texts all week and like, first of all, to these friends that text me, thank you for still listening. You know, it's like, kind of didn't think, I don't know. don't keep up with, I don't, like, I don't care if my friends listen every week. You know what I mean? It's like,

I don't care. People got things to do. People don't like podcasts. I don't know. But my Tammy was like, this is giving me a huge insight into you like growing up and stuff. And I was just like, wow. I didn't think about that.

Jojo (03:45)
We went to lunch with friends and my friend Daniel was like, why have you never told me that Sue's brother is into wrestling? I was like, I don't, it never came up. He was like, I'm fascinated by this. was like, yeah, everyone is.

You Forgot (04:01)
Marla texted me, she was like, this is my favorite episode, so like of all, like all year. I was like, really? And she was like, yes. And I was like, couldn't wait to talk about like the wrestling thing. And she's like, yeah, no kidding. It's fascinating.

Jojo (04:19)
It's quickly moving up to

our most favorite episode, most beloved.

You Forgot (04:24)
Yeah, Stephanie liked his voice. I don't think I told him that though.

Jojo (04:30)
He's got a great radio voice.

You Forgot (04:35)
Yeah, he's something else. But yeah, that was fun. It was like, it was really fun. Like editing it, I was just like laughing and I'm looking at like the video of it. I'm just staring at my brother talk about this wild stuff. You know, it's like, and a lot of stuff I don't, you know, didn't know about like the logistics and whatever. And it's just funny. mean, super different career path, you know? Yeah, it was super cool.

Jojo (05:00)
It was great.

You Forgot (05:04)
Did you do Valentine's this week?

Jojo (05:07)
Valentine's is always annoying to me because my birthday is the day before. So it like steals Valentine's thunder, even though I don't care about Valentine's at all. Matt and I never get each other anything like, because we just went out the day before for my birthday. But of course, every year I have to make holiday themed packages for the kids. It's like my, it's my favorite thing about having college kids is sending them packages and it's never from me. I always signed the card.

You Forgot (05:29)
Yeah.

Jojo (05:37)
with the dogs names, the packages are always from the dogs. And

You Forgot (05:40)
You

Jojo (05:41)
so this year though, with my life being in chaos right now, I totally screwed up and I mailed their packages. I was on top of it. I mailed them January 30th, but to both of their last year's addresses because they were both in different spots. so I'm like waiting for my children to send me a big thank you text and I get nothing.

You Forgot (05:56)
You

Jojo (06:07)
These brats, like they're so whatever. And then, so I text,

hello, did you get my packages? Neither one had gotten them. So then when we're talking about, well, which address did you send it to? I realized I sent both packages to the wrong address. Nightmare. They finally tracked them down with the tracking number, but that was a complete fail. What about you?

You Forgot (06:31)
yeah, we don't do valentines. mean, I did buy, there was like a heart-shaped gummy bear.

I don't know gift and Anthony loves gummy bears and I grabbed it just in case I Saw him that day, but I didn't even see him. So I just got my daughter some stuff, you know like candy and some hair serum she wanted And she got me some flowers

Jojo (06:55)
she

did! That was really nice. She's your gal brain.

You Forgot (07:00)
She's clutch.

She, she's a really thoughtful gift giver.

Jojo (07:08)
I love that.

You Forgot (07:09)
Yeah, she needs to stay in budget sometimes, but she's really good at it.

Jojo (07:17)
Maybe that's her love language, GIFs.

You Forgot (07:20)
Probably. I mean, I think that was mine always. I always feel like I try to get something thoughtful. And like if you see something and it's not like the person's birthday or whatever, and you just gotta get it because, I don't know.

Jojo (07:27)
Yeah.

I was speaking

at birthday Sue and I were texting on my birthday like in the morning as we usually do and she's like Go check your front porch and I was like what why? And I look out there. There's an Amazon box and she had gotten me a book that I've been really wanting to read But I was just like the timing on that. How did that work?

You Forgot (07:59)
I just got the Amazon, you know, you get like an email that says like your package has been delivered, you know?

Jojo (08:07)
It's like, I don't know why it like blew my mind. I was like, how did you make time for that?

You Forgot (08:10)
I

was confused why it would blow your mind also.

But what, so you're famous today, my friend. Because you're on, there's a video of you going around on Being Patient. It's called Being Patient Voices on Instagram. It's a Instagram page and they have a newsletter and everything, but it's your trusted source for science-backed news and stories on brain health, Alzheimer's, and dementia. And you,

Jojo (08:18)
my god.

Why?

that's right.

You Forgot (08:47)
shared a video about... I'm looking at you right now. You're on Gaga.

Jojo (08:54)
Instagram page?

You Forgot (08:55)
Yes, and there's stories. I tagged you and everything.

Jojo (08:59)
I was also confused. thought you had because I'd sent the video to you and so I So confused

You Forgot (09:03)
No, that's-

No, that's Being Patient Voices posted that.

Jojo (09:10)
well look at-

You Forgot (09:13)
That's very cool. Joanna participated in that. And then we're actually going to write an essay for them later this month. So happy to do that. It's really great. Their page is really interesting. And it's just people sharing their stories, their caregiving stories. Yeah, it's a great little community. Check it out, Being Patient Voices.

Jojo (09:36)
It is. I really like them.

You Forgot (09:42)
Okay, so a couple weeks ago, okay, first of all, we do get this question at all times. If we do a question episode, there's always like, do you break news to your person with dementia? How do you tell them someone passed? We get that one a lot. But like, how do you tell them that you're moving, et cetera? Like when you have to move them into assisted living, like how do you even like broach that subject?

Jojo (10:10)
It's difficult

because at least in my experience, when you're having to tell them that they're not like, they still comprehend what's going on. At least in my mom's instance, she was still pretty with it. was just that it was becoming a safety issue where she didn't need to be alone. If she'd been married, I don't think we would have moved her as soon, but she understood what we were saying. And that made it even more difficult. I think it's easier when they're like,

You Forgot (10:11)
Thank you.

Jojo (10:38)
stage three or stage four. What was your mom like?

You Forgot (10:44)
I planted the seed, right? Because she also lived alone. And if she did have a partner,

or even like a caregiver that dropped in or something part time, she probably would not have had to leave her house as soon as it happened. so I just started planting the seed that she should come live with me in Texas. She was in Ohio. And it sounded crazy. But we talked about it for a couple months at least. And it was just kind of like,

I just really kept being super positive and upbeat about like, you'll get to come down here and see the kids and be a grandma and you know, all the things. I'm like, bring your cars. And it was never that she was gonna come live with me. It was like, we'll get your apartment, you know? And which was assisted living. But it was still assisted living where she could have a car. She wasn't driving, but you know, we could park.

car there and she could walk in and out the door still at that point. So it was kind of like a new apartment. And I don't know what happened in her thinking, but one day she called and was like, I'm, I'm ready to do that. And I was like, okay, cause I didn't, I didn't have to force it. And she even said, can we just wait till after my birthday? And

I was like, okay. And you know what? Yesterday was the day many years ago that I moved her.

Jojo (12:28)
wow.

You Forgot (12:30)
Yeah, it's in my calendar.

Jojo (12:32)
So you waited about a week after her birthday.

You Forgot (12:35)
Yeah, yeah, because she wanted to have like dinner with friends and stuff like she still was.

Jojo (12:43)
So she

was like that with it.

You Forgot (12:45)
Yeah, but she understood that she had had issues. You know, the doctor had taken her keys at one point. Like she just knew it was coming and she was very

I don't know, she was kind of into it. I'm sure as soon as she got down here, she wished she wouldn't have.

Jojo (13:08)
Yeah, but

that's like one of the few positive stories about having to tell your parent that you're moving them. It's really doesn't feel like.

You Forgot (13:14)
Yeah, you know,

my dad was fibbing. We were fibbing. What's that term? Compassionate, compassionate deception. There was like, I had to check him into geriatric psych and then from there say, doctors say you can't go home.

Jojo (13:25)
Yeah, I love that.

That's a very common method. It's just to check them into the hospital and then be like, oopsies, we moved you while you were gone.

You Forgot (13:49)
literally what happened but you know I did take over is like you know that's so wild I don't remember moving him I mean I guess my cousin's health probably but like we had his stuff there I don't know it's all a blur it is all a blur it is all such a blur but anyway do you want to tell them why we're talking about how to talk to your parents and break this news to people

Jojo (14:05)
It's all a blur.

Yes, I came across a TikTok and I sent it to Sue. Everyone knows like we love Real Housewives. And if you're familiar with Real Housewives of New York, there's a cast member named Sonia Morgan, who is just a hoot and a trip. And someone hired her on Cameo. Cameo is an app where you can hire celebrities to give a message to your loved one. I've actually done that before for Matt's Christmas present.

He loves this Texas country singer. I'm going blank on his name, I, for Christmas one,

You Forgot (14:53)
Who did you do? Krieger?

Jojo (14:56)
I'm going to have to, I cannot think of his name. Matt, Dale Watson. He's listening. His name is Dale Watson. And so I got Dale Watson to make a cameo for Matt and he still has the video. It's like fun. Anyway, someone paid Sonia Morgan.

to tell their dad that they were gonna move him into assisted living, because he's such a fan of hers. And I don't know why, but that cracked me up. I don't know if it's the most sensitive way to handle it, but it's kind of out of the box and genius and I loved it.

You Forgot (15:32)
Should we play the audio?

Jojo (15:34)
Yeah, let's play the audio.

You Forgot (15:36)
Cause I, yeah, I don't, I'm not sure if I feel this is genius or crazy. And, you know, I did try to find the, the son that, know, ordered this cameo. I didn't get any response. Maybe I was the wrong person. I don't know. And I also thought, maybe we shouldn't talk about this, but it's on cameo, TikTok reposted on cameo. So we can play it. We can play it. No problem.

Jojo (15:42)
It's both.

You Forgot (16:06)
Alright, here's, so you guys listen to this audio and then we're gonna see what we think.

Peter Bowen, it's your girl Sonia. I just saw it's your birthday on the 11th and you're an amazing dad. And let me tell you, ones are very lucky because I'm an 11 25. You are 111. You have three ones. So you must be very lucky. And I know you're a huge fan of mine because Matt and Ethan said you're an amazing dad and you love your straw that serves the drink and doesn't serve the pot. And you love your wine. I love to sip.

margaritas from a margarita pitcher. There's really not much I don't like. I never turned down a good meal, a good man, or a good drink. Anyhow, there's news to tell you.

Matt and Ethan want to put you in a wonderful nursing home. How fabulous is that? mean, nobody ever gets to do it anymore because it's just ridiculously expensive, but you're going to be in Florida next to me so we can hang out. It's wonderful news. Thank you, Matt and Ethan, for being so, so good. Wonderful sons. And thank you for letting me be with Peter, to thank him personally for always being by my side. And now he's going to be my neighbor because you know our yacht may have sailed.

But our ship is coming in down here in Florida. You got this, Peter.

Jojo (17:39)
I love her so much. She's such a whack. It just made me laugh. I'm like, why did I not think of that? I should have paid Shaq to tell my mom that.

You Forgot (17:50)
Shaq would be like, I'll have to come and do it in person because he's so sweet. He's such a good guy. But like, so is it, would you ever do that? Well, I mean, you said you would.

Jojo (17:54)
Yeah.

I I would 100%.

You Forgot (18:06)
I wonder...

Jojo (18:07)
Just pass,

what is that phrase? Pass the bucket? Pass the buck.

You Forgot (18:11)
Pass the has the buck.

Yeah, I mean, I just really, really want to know what happened after this dad got the TikTok or the cameo.

Jojo (18:28)
I know, we tried to follow up, we never got the end of the story. We need a part two.

You Forgot (18:32)
Can there not be a follow up?

I'm gonna DM that kid again.

Jojo (18:38)
Yeah. We gotta know what happened.

You Forgot (18:42)
Like is Peter in Florida? Is he with Sonja Morgan?

Jojo (18:50)
I don't know, but like, what a way to like make a terrible situation into a kind of funny one. What did you think of that?

You Forgot (18:59)
I don't know. hope there's a lot of feedback on this one.

Jojo (19:04)
Yeah, we need

we need y'alls opinions on this because I'm all for it But I also just like to be silly and not take things very seriously

You Forgot (19:12)
Okay, like if you were really trying to break news to a loved one, there are ways to do this without cameo and so, yeah. I think the person breaking the news has to be very prepared, whether you're on Xanax or whatever you're doing. Like I...

Jojo (19:22)
for now.

You Forgot (19:36)
Because I would get so anxious to like say anything. And sometimes you'd get like a response that was just like, okay, cool. And then other times they were like wheels spinning and getting scared and blah, blah. So you really have to be prepared yourself when you go into those conversations. But you just have to be gentle and compassionate and try to not yell. And you know what? And that's another thing that's so hard with

and their parents, I don't know about you, like, would sometimes, you know, when you'd visit home, something would trigger you and all of a sudden you're acting like a kid again, like a little kid. like, know, barking back at your mom, mean, you know, like, this was way before Alzheimer's, but I just remember her just being like, yeah, I'm the worst, you know, and you're just like, God, shut up. Like, you're like a little kid again.

Jojo (20:18)
100%.

100 %

and it's already a stressful situation and if you don't go and prepared you're gonna like take it out on them when it's like I Remember like when we told my mom we had my brother came in town from Hong Kong to help us because it was just we needed all hands on deck and I remember her just sitting there crying saying I you really think I have Alzheimer's. This is the worst day of my life like

It was hard. We were all crying. So I'd rather have Sonja Morgan do it.

You Forgot (21:07)
Yeah, I mean, because you have to have yourself really psyched up, you have to be like have a real positive headspace and

be reassuring about the future and upcoming possibilities. And I know the way that we did it with my mom, it was about preventing something awful from happening. Like, let's get this, let's get you moved, settled, because she had, not like a fender bender, but it was like something over the curb. I don't know, was enough to alarm her because she was a car person.

So she received the information much better than I ever would have imagined, honestly. But I think maybe she was looking around at her life and going, yeah, no one's really left here. know, like, who would help her if there was a real problem? Because, you know, her friends are getting so much older and stuff, you you kind of lose your community when they...

get older, pass away, maybe more homebound kind of thing. You're not seeing people, I don't know.

Jojo (22:21)
Well, I do know that we took the advice of someone and you actually brought this up as well. We tried not to be the bad guy with my mom. It was always, this is what your doctor is saying you need. Like make the doctor the bad guy. Cause you don't want to be like, no, this is what I think. And then she'll be like, well, you're just trying to control me. But I actually, don't know if I told you this, I had some friends asked to call me because they're just starting on this journey.

You Forgot (22:33)
Yep.

Jojo (22:50)
the mom is still married to the dad and the dad has been asking the son to help him. So the son's like my age and he called me and he was like, I don't really know how to help them. And I was like, the best thing you can do is be the bad guy. Say dad wants you to stay at home, but I think it's more important than that you move into assisted living. Just if your parent is still alive and married, then you be the bad guy. Let the spouse, like let the spouse be the good one.

You Forgot (23:20)
Yeah, that's good advice.

Because they probably won't, they won't remember anyway.

Jojo (23:27)
No. Yeah, so just say, well, no, no, Dad thinks you're fine, but I really think we need to do what the doctor said.

You Forgot (23:30)
What?

I shouldn't say that they won't remember because they will remember at the most inopportune time. I remember my driving my mom down to Texas and it was the worst ice storm in the history of like Texas, Arkansas kind of thing. So we had to stop for the night. It was a mess and I went out to get food and I left her in the hotel room, which sounds.

crazy now to think that I did that. But I mean, I ran across the street for fast food or whatever. But when I got back, like she didn't know where she was. It was awful. But then during the middle of the night, she started yelling at me for erasing her answering machine messages, which it was true.

Jojo (24:28)
Was that true?

You Forgot (24:33)
I did it because there was this guy that was creeping around, wanted her cars, that kind of thing. And I, and I, it was her birthday week when I went to move her, and she wouldn't come out to eat with me. She stayed at home and was like, my friend's coming over. And I was like, I got really freaked out, listened to the messages, and it was this freaking guy. I called him. I was like, I.

called him and like, what do you want with my mother? Like, what do you think you're doing? He was like, young.

Yeah.

Jojo (25:10)
You just trying to scammer maybe?

You Forgot (25:12)
huh, he was. He knew her old like guy friend that she ran around with at car club. Anyway, yeah, yeah, and I think he worked at like a car dealership or had a car dealership. wanted her cars.

Jojo (25:23)
and she never forgot that.

You Forgot (25:25)
No. And she threw it back in my face and it's like, you don't want to lie. But like, I really got caught lying to my mom.

Jojo (25:35)
You know what's crazy is to this day, my mom's been in memory care for a couple of years. And still, as I'm saying goodbye to her, she'll say, well, I really wish my old, I miss my old house. I wish you girls hadn't made me move. I'm like, when is she gonna let it go?

You Forgot (25:50)
Yeah.

And she's really happy over there too.

Jojo (25:55)
Yeah. And I still to this day just say, I wish we could have let you stay, but your doctor said no.

You Forgot (26:03)
See? Blame it on him. Don't be the bad guy. Don't make yourself the bad guy. I mean, there are emergency situations, though, like when if someone's safety is at risk, then you might have to be the bad guy and use a power of attorney, or if you have guardianship over them. Sometimes it does have to be a really terrible conversation and tell them that they're doing it. I mean, I'm so.

Jojo (26:04)
Still blaming him. Yep.

You Forgot (26:33)
thankful that that wasn't our case.

Jojo (26:35)
Yeah, yeah, you can just reframe it, especially if the parent is like, I don't wanna do this. Like my mom kept saying that over and over and I know I've told this story a million times how Matt had actually pick her up and put her in the car, but I just reclaimed it as like what a loving parent would do. Like she is not safe in this house and I don't care if you don't wanna move there, you have to do it. It's for your own good.

You Forgot (26:38)
that they don't.

Yep.

Yeah, and that's exactly, you know.

how, yeah, sorry, I forgot what I was gonna say. There's like, whenever you go to make this move, there's all kinds of resources online and everything, but they do say that you can maybe take your person to visit the place. Like say you already have plans to move them in, but you just wanna go and show them when you're, say you're visiting someone else. I mean, these are all those fibs. This is the compassionate deception.

Jojo (27:37)
We did that and I kind of wish we wouldn't have. Our situation, I wish we would have just ripped the bandaid off. We told her way too early. She had like two months to freak out about it.

You Forgot (27:40)
Mmm!

Right. So she just started stewing and.

Jojo (27:53)
We just, yeah,

for two months. And then it turned into you're trying to steal my money and you know, all the things.

You Forgot (28:01)
My dad did that to me trying to steal my money. He did that to me like in the lawyer's office when we were getting power attorney and everything. And I was like, just behave for an hour. Just behave, just behave, just behave. And he's like, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, let's do this. And then we just sit down and he's like, just trying to take my money.

Jojo (28:18)
We're like, what money?

You Forgot (28:20)
Exactly. My dad left me with debt, mortgage, car payment, all the things like probate, you know, like that was a mess. My mom think baby Jesus was so on top of her finances and everything. Me and Tom touched on that last week, but she was she and yeah, she was really organized. Pretty much until I mean, start slacking at the end, but

Easier to figure out than my dad's stuff, that's for darn sure.

Jojo (28:51)
Yes,

for sure. Anything else about moving your parents?

You Forgot (28:58)
No, I think it's just like when you're going to have those conversations, it's just, you know, being positive, having a good demeanor, not yelling at them, getting frustrated. You really gotta psych yourself up.

Jojo (29:17)
almost

write a script out so you stay on script, so you don't get off topic and just, you know, it might even be helpful to like talk about it with your therapist first. Maybe they could give you some advice or, you know, one of those assisted living advocates could help you.

You Forgot (29:34)
Yeah, they do have people that you would find from, say, your person's primary care doctor or whatever they have, kind of like social workers type people that can help you. yeah, what are those people called? I don't know, they have them everywhere. Yeah. It sucks too because I'd always try, I would want to change the subject because I didn't want to do it. And you know, also,

When we're saying this, I was thinking about like, when you said like, you can talk to your therapist. I had nobody to talk to about this. And when we do these episodes and I think back on stuff, I'm like.

I didn't, there was no side of Instagram that there is now with so much information. There are so many great accounts on Instagram where like you could have a thought like, how do I deal with this with my person or how do I get them to, you know, use the bathroom on time? You could go on Instagram and find that. Like these people are amazing.

Jojo (30:39)
Reddit has

some great communities for this now, but there was no Reddit back then.

You Forgot (30:45)
We

didn't have, yes, I didn't even look online. I never in a million years would have thought, like to Google, how do I approach this subject with my mom about moving around. But today you could type that in and it will pull up, you know, care.com and caregivers, I think it's caregivers.com and you know, the Alzheimer's Association. have so many resources.

Maybe I just didn't know where to look or how to look or I didn't know you could.

Jojo (31:18)
I don't think it existed. think you were right before the kind of big bubble where everyone else experienced it. You just experienced it a couple years earlier.

You Forgot (31:28)
And I was so much younger then, like my cousins, my first cousins were dealing with this with their dad, my uncle, my mom's sister or brother. God, I hate when I do that. they were, I don't know, were older and had more experience and already had taken care of older people in their lives. This was like, I got thrown into the fire.

Jojo (31:55)
You were in your 30s, right?

You Forgot (32:00)
UMMMM

Yeah, I got, was I? Maybe I was past 40.

Jojo (32:06)
You had little kids. I kind of think you were in late 30s. It's because your mom and dad were a little bit older when they had you. And so it's not like they were just 25 years older than you. They were like 40 years older.

You Forgot (32:15)
Mm-hmm.

Yeah, so but that's I mean, that's why I'm thankful that we have this now and you know

Jojo (32:31)
I know any little tiny part of it that we can be, which going back to what we first started talking about on this episode, like I don't care if my friends listen to this or not. I'm not like gonna be hurt. You people have busy lives or whatever, but I know that there's at least one person listening that probably needs to hear us. And that's all that matters. We've always said this from the very beginning. If we can help one person, then it's worth it to us.

You Forgot (32:56)
Totally.

Yeah, Joanna.

Jojo (33:05)
Well, it's time for,

it is time for my dirty diet coke. I have now become addicted. I'm drinking one every day.

You Forgot (33:12)
That's okay, it's just a bunch of protein. You're, you know, it's...

Jojo (33:16)
Okay, let's be clear. I tried the protein shake version. So it's just diet Coke and a protein shake, but I just like diet Coke and my sugar-free creamer. I'm back to the creamer, but it's whatever, zero calories.

You Forgot (33:17)
Yeah.

you're back to the creamer.

you know what, I have vanilla powder. I, can I, do you think I should make that into like, like mix it with water first and then splash it into my Diet Coke?

Jojo (33:35)
That would work.

Yes, I think it should be liquid and liquid.

You Forgot (33:49)
Alright, I'm gonna have one too. I'm gonna have one with you.

Jojo (33:52)
Okay, love it.

You Forgot (33:54)
Anything else for me, Chica?

Jojo (33:58)
I so.

You Forgot (33:59)
did you watch White Lotus last night?

Jojo (34:01)
No, I'm saving it. I'll watch it tonight. We watched the Saturday Night Live thing last night.

You Forgot (34:06)
Yeah, I'm still watching that. mean, I'm like, how much, how many Saturday night live specials can we have in one week?

Jojo (34:13)
I'm not joking, I think we're now up to nine hours of watching Saturday Night Live stuff.

You Forgot (34:18)
Because the music one was three hours plus, I think.

Jojo (34:21)
There was a music one,

the concert was three hours, and then last night.

You Forgot (34:25)
Yeah.

No, but I think there's, because there's like a music one that's not the concert. Do you see that? That? And then there's, then there was the one last night, which was like the 50th, you know, but then there's another one. There's a fourth one that's just like people talking about their favorite skits and stuff.

Jojo (34:34)
Yeah, we watched music once in the concert, then we watched...

We watched that too. We're up to 12 hours. Yeah. Yeah, it was a lot.

You Forgot (34:51)
Yeah, it's a lot.

Jojo (34:56)
Alright.

You Forgot (34:57)
Alright, talk to you later. Bye!