Real Husbands Of You Forgot Pod

This week Joanna and Sue are joined by their husbands Matt and Anthony!  They discuss their journey in creating the podcast, reflecting on the challenges and joys of family dynamics, particularly in the context of caregiving for loved ones with Alzheimer's. They share cute anecdotes, explore the concept of the sandwich generation, and emphasize the importance of self-care and mental health. As always the  conversation has  light-hearted moments and insights into personal interests, including sports and pop culture, making it a relatable and entertaining listen.

Thanks For Listening!
Joanna Anderson & Sue Nicolaidis

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Transcript

You Forgot (00:00)
Hi Joanna. Hi Sue. What are you doing? Well, I'm sitting here in Colorado. yeah. What are you doing? Sitting here with these really handsome guys. I would really like to introduce you to Anthony and Matt. And if anybody doesn't know, those are our husbands and we're doing a podcast with them today. Aren't they lucky? That's right. We twisted their arms. We got them on the pod and they're so excited to be here. Are you excited? Extremely. Now don't feel like sarcastic.

I mean, you must be a little happy. I'm gonna get discovered and then I'm gonna have my own podcast. See, I think that's been your problem the whole time. I think, my God, you literally just nailed it.

We'll have our own podcast about who's Yeah, anytime I talk about the podcast and he just zones out, he's thinking about his own. That's exactly right. He's like, figure out how to do it all and then you could produce mine. And we could all listen to Anthony Nicolaitis talk and talk and talk and talk and talk. And then it would probably go like, it'd probably be like the number one podcast. could get a producer credit.

the woman behind the man again. I know, right? I mean, come on. Well, let's set the stage here. So here we are in your condo in Boulder. came up, Matt and I came up here to see Charlie Crockett at Red Rocks. And then you came up and were also at the show with us and it was amazing. Yeah, it was our caregiver night out. Caregiver night out. and guess what today is? What?

It's the anniversary of our pod. One year ago today, we released the first episode. Can you believe that? I can. You've been working hard on it. And we've come a long ways. Yeah. From Zoom to now you've got this crazy computer thing that I don't even know how it works. It's a Zoom too. We've got four microphones and headphones. It's the real deal. We pretend. Yeah. Fake it till you make it.

So Matt, what do you think of the podcast? Has it been fun to listen to it? Yeah, I listen every week. I was going to ask you, are you a faithful P1 listener? I listen to the day it's released. Okay. Yeah. You used to give me feedback, but I haven't been getting any feedback. that's nice. I guess no news is good news then. Yeah. And you're featured a lot because Joanna's mom really loves you.

That's good and bad. She's your you're her very favorite and she lets me know every single week. Yeah, I mean, should be. She does, Anthony. Like when I met her the other day, she was like, where's Matt? How's Matt? Boy, she really hit the jackpot with that one, didn't she? And she says that same every time. She really you really hit the jackpot with him. And even the weeks that she doesn't remember my name.

She remembers Matt's name, which is really annoying. Nice. I think she's only forgotten once and you were, I was devastated. were devastated. Yeah. Yeah. So we didn't have like Anthony, I'm not, not to speak for you, but I think you were a lot closer with, know, your mother-in-law and you had a real relationship. My mom was, we didn't like live by her the whole time. She didn't babysit the kids like that. Like, so we just had like a, you just have like a friendship. Long distance relationship. Yeah. It wasn't like.

That can also be a gift too. yeah was, but she was obsessed with him too. The first day she met him, she remembered him. My parents didn't know or care about any of my friends. Right, After I was like 20 something. But she remembered Anthony. And was she obsessed with Jude as well?

understatement. know. Remember? yeah, understatement. Something about the boys, because my mom is also obsessed with Jack. And like way more than Sloan, which is weird. yeah. My mom, yeah, I've said this before. I don't even like saying it because my mom, she loved Marta, but like, yeah, she like had made some really rude comments about my daughter. She doesn't listen to this, so I don't have to worry about it.

So Anthony, do you listen every week? No, Matt's making me look bad. He has a lot more time on his hands. I I try to listen, you know, multiple episodes at a time when I'm walking or driving. drove from Boulder to LA a couple of weeks ago and I think I listened to like two or three episodes. OK.

I'm guessing you don't give any feedback. No. That's not true. No, actually, you know what, would say, and I actually said this to somebody last night, because I dinner in Arkansas next to somebody that listens to the podcast. What? Yeah. So. A co-worker's wife or something. I had no idea. And I said, you know, they're doing such a good job, you know, eight, nine months later compared to the first four episodes. I think it's more natural. Yeah.

You've kind of, you're funny, you're comfortable with it, the editing's better. So I'm very proud of how it's, how the progression. For sure. Yeah, I think it sounds like professional and like, wow, this is like a real podcast. I think the first one, you guys, a little uncomfortable. So uncomfortable. mean. Probably a little too scripted and now it's like very natural. It's a little too unscripted at this point. But. I said

I did say to Day last night that that you do like to drop a few f-bombs every once in while He gets on to me for that too, and I'm like I'm are we supposed to edit ourselves? I don't know I go back and forth like I'm like if you want to get huge I Don't know like at least I don't mind telling people it's just PG-13 or just be prepared because a lot of older people like when I'm appraising their homes This stuff will come up. I'm like my wife does this podcast. tell me all about it. I'm like

Okay, I'm happy to tell you, but it is PG-13. Right. I feel that way too. And there's a family that live here and they are dealing and I told them about it. And I see, I just feel like I tell anyone and if they don't like it, great. I'm not warning you. It's a podcast. Right. You know, if you don't like our

Language, which is not horrible all the time, but we have said some you know, silly things like whore baths and stuff like that and once we I do put warnings on them on the the description before like before it's sent out all to the hosting sites if there is something like that little trigger warning, but I just feel like they could just Peace out on it if they don't like it. Yeah, which side note in Denver yesterday We saw somebody completely nude a homeless person

taking a horror bath. On the street. With their wet ones or wet wipes. See? I was like, we're getting the real Denver. Did you get a video? I wish. That's gross. Drive by. Drive by. We're not putting that on the pod. I still get tickled every now and then about Fanny Eaton. my gosh. Anthony called me about that. Remember the stripper name or something? And the street you grew up on? Yeah. Yeah, that was funny. See where rail's off.

I do have some questions. These are kind of more for Matt, I think. Okay. Only because Joanna is, you guys are, your family's still dealing with this, you know, Alzheimer's in your family. We're kind of out of it. You know, we, we just don't have it on the daily. but in a lot of people ask me how Joanna can actually do this podcast because a lot of people that are in it dealing, they can't.

be creative or they can't, know, it's like they're so focused on doing that and they're too sad. And she can do this. And a lot of people think it's wild. I can do it because you do all the brain work and I can just show up and talk and I can do that anywhere. Also, she's medicated, which helps. Also, I'm heavily medicated.

But still. And Debra is there to help a ton. Sure. takes a lot of the pressure off. Yeah, but it's still like I, when I brought my mom to Texas, my, kept thinking I was going to blog it or vlog it or keep a diary of some sort. Never thought about podcasting then. That was, you know, years ago before any monkey could have a podcast. And I did it for about two weeks, you know, took pictures of all of the things we were doing and then couldn't do anything.

But how do you find ways to support your family? Since it's not actually your mom, but you're still in the midst of it all. Well, like you said, we were actually pretty close. mean, she lived two blocks from us. So we would see her at least every three days. Almost every day, she would, on her morning walk, would stop by to see the And she used to care for the kids a lot. And they love being over here, over there.

Not until we moved to McKinney did we see her less and even then we still saw her every week. So how do you feel like you support us? So I was just to say like, so to me, she means a ton, I mean, it's like a mother to me. So for me, it's just like, I don't do what Deborah and Joanna do is go up there as much, but when Joanna does ask me to go up there, I do go up there. And just like a lot of people, I don't necessarily enjoy it. It's not a fun time.

but it's for Joanna and Johnny is happy when I'm there for a little bit. And I guess even though it doesn't bring me to a jokey, it doesn't. I mean, it's stressful. Like whenever I leave, I get anxiety every time. I can see his face switch and that means I need to get him out of here. He is at his capacity of.

All of this I know that phase. Especially after McDonald's, I'm done. Mm Like, don't mind. don't mind going up there and spending time up there, but we also take her to McDonald's. It's a lot. Taking her in public is a lot. And now I've kind of switched. Now I just go through the drive through because I can't handle her in public anywhere. Do you remember me dragging you over there? yeah. Like if I really needed him to go with me for like.

say if it was like Mother's Day or something like that and I just needed, because I felt like I needed to go and take the kids and it was like, I mean it's like kind of blurry. Do you even remember going there? I do and I think my role was to kind of drag you out of there at certain times. well just because like I couldn't leave. I just sensed it was time to go. And I didn't leave because I was scared.

Yeah, like I was the hook. Yeah, and the excuse. Yep. This guy got to go. Yeah, and we stopped taking the kids. Yeah, we've stopped taking the kids. Do you remember when we would try to take her to like the basketball games and everything? yeah. But it was like, hardly do remember that because it was like we tried as much as we could and it was not long before. we want to watch the game. Yeah. Was that when Marta was in like middle school? Yeah.

She was a badass. No, that's what I hear. Yeah, but she was they weren't she was maybe just in middle school. Yeah, because Jude was I think fifth grade. Yeah. Yeah, and we'd take her to stuff and.

How did that go? Well, like he just reminded me. I blocked this all out, but I have pictures of us there. So I know we did it and Brahms. went to Brahms. I probably got up and walked away to watch the game because I just couldn't deal with distractions. And she would be like, who are we watching? Stuff like that. And would she be able to stay the whole game? Yeah, I think we're like an hour. Kids games. Yeah. But yeah, then it was like I didn't want to drag her around and.

I wanted to do my own thing, you know, and be there for my kids. And, you know, it wasn't like she could even chit chat with anyone. Like, Johnny would probably talk to everyone at least. Well, that's, yeah, that's good and bad. No, she's the best. See, another one for Matt, because Anthony, you're not going remember this. What's the funniest or most unexpected moment that's come from being in this phase of life together?

between me and Johanna or between me Joanna? I think between you and Joanna, but just, you know, with the whole family situation. mean, there's been a lot of funny moments, like funny, haha, after the fact, but not funny at the moment. So I got a lot of anxiety, not the last, a couple of times ago, Johanna got really handsy with me, like wouldn't stop hugging me. I mean,

to the like pretty handsy. was getting awkward. And I was like, hey mom, off. And it was funny afterwards, but in that moment. I think she got confused. She kept saying, this is my boyfriend. And she was very confused about the situation and she was getting pretty handsy. Yeah. I mean, there's always funny stuff though, like Catalina dressing and.

saying she needs crackers and there's 50 boxes and we laugh about it, you know, those kind of things. remember what she said? We might have to cut this out. At the Greek restaurant when Jack was with us and he was asking her something about the Bible. No.

And she goes, she was a devout, like religious woman, but everything changes. And he was asking her something just to make conversation. And she goes, fuck the Bible, Jack. And we were like, ee. I don't remember that. She did? Maybe you weren't there. You guys went there a couple times. I went once. Jack, he's like, that's the best memory I've ever had of Gaga. That can't be true.

Well, yeah, he doesn't remember all the cute little stuff that she did for him when he was a little dude. died laughing. Because she was such a person. like, we were like, mother. And she just died laughing herself. She's like, that's blasphemy, all of it, word. She does get a kick out of saying shocking things now. Yeah, that's kind of a different thing that's happened. You know how when she starts laughing every time she says her mom died?

yeah, the other day she said that. I was like, do you miss her? she's like, hell no. Hell no. We're like, who is this lady? A lot of honesty comes out of these things. She loves to call people fat. I cannot believe she's not said anything to me. like. can't either. She does like to talk about people's bodies a lot. Yeah. yeah. My mom did that too though. And my mom's sister. I mean, my aunt got in trouble for, you know.

calling people out for their weight. My mom did not, yeah, she didn't understand it. We were walking back to her room the other day and there was a worker, sweet worker walking by. She maybe passed us by one foot, but my mom thought she was out of earshot. She goes, that lady is enormous. was like, mom, you can't say that. See, I think that Anthony, we missed out on like any funny things, like, right? It was so depressing.

It the worst. It was so fast. She lost her words. Yes. Yeah. It was pretty fast because moving her from Ohio, when you move someone with dementia symptoms, I mean, it just exasperates it immediately. was almost cruel of me to do it. But if I would have left her in Ohio, there was no one that would have... You had no choice. I know. But then you go, well, she didn't remember me visiting her. But I wouldn't have been able to be on top of her care or whatnot.

But we felt like it was the best of shit. think, and remember how stupid I was. I was like, my kids are in school all day, all day. I'll just do mommy stuff and take care of everything. yeah. And then we sent you, you sent your mom down and my dad back. Yeah. Your dad left right before.

We were taking care of my dad at the time and that became too hard. Was he living with you? Yeah. I never told you that. Well, I don't remember him. No, I don't remember that. I don't know how you did that. He was, he was, it wasn't like we were bathing him or anything like that. Like he was walking around. He was, he did end up in a hospital bed after a surgery, but we had him for quite a while and he was completely mobile and everything. just, he just couldn't live alone.

His living situation was kind of jacked up. He could live alone, but he couldn't live where he wanted Did he have dementia? No. No. He was just... Nicolitis. He just had... He had diabetes. He had the diabetes. The diabetes. And he just didn't take care of himself. He didn't go to the doctor for was a mess and the head up, was fine. But it was getting too hard and challenging. And it was like, all right, it's time to go. We're going to send you to Toledo.

Yeah, we were able to send him back to Toledo because there was tons of family that could help. right on a plane by No, I actually hired him and got an ambulance and threw my Annie Lane and my dad in the ambulance and drove him to Toledo. No! And I think we got like a couple of months break and then we brought your mom down. Wow. wow, you guys. Yeah, I was, yeah.

I gotta look at the timeline of that. My memory, yeah, forget about it. Especially with that kind of stuff. And your mom lived with you for a little bit, No, just a, just a, she was just there a couple of nights. We knew that we weren't going to try that. She had a cat, she had the damn cat, R.I.P. And, I just, it wouldn't have worked, but she was just across the street, which was stupid too, because remember when she would come over, would just walk over and- she wasn't locked up? Not yet.

Yeah, she was still in assisted living. And she would always call and say she needed something. And it was like her depends or whatever. And then I'd go in there and she would hide everything that she used the excuse for me to come over. It just, it just, yeah, it got really hard, really fast. And then how long, I know you've told me this, how long was she there before you moved her to memory care? I guess like a year. okay. Yeah. She progressed quickly. Pretty quick. Yeah. Well, do you remember what I was like to live with then?

I mean, I feel like I compartmentalized it pretty good. I don't feel like you and the kids suffered at all. You were wonderful. No, I'm serious. Like, I mean, like, I don't feel like you guys got... you were perfect. I feel like she got, like, maybe the short end of the stick from me. But, I mean, she was taken care of. But I... I felt like I just wasn't gonna let my kids or my husband or...

that life like suffer too much, like get lost in it. Well, you made your priorities and they were correct. And as I'm saying this, I'm realizing I nobody did know you didn't even know. I didn't even know. I literally didn't know. It was harder because your kids are younger. Ours are in college. mean, so Joanna's not taking care of her mother.

and full time taking of our kids. Yeah. I that's a big difference. I was the epitome of sandwich generation before there was a term, I think. Yeah. Do you know what the sandwich generation is? Have you heard that term? Never. It's people that are like our age caring for their aging parents and still have kids in the house.

So you're in the sandwich generation. Makes sense. Yeah. I just had to teach that to him the other day. I put like an emoji sandwich generation and he was like, grilled cheese? What are you talking about? Well, then we got to go. You know we talk about this on the podcast all the time. Thank you.

And it's like a crappy sandwich too. It's like bologna, like not even mayo on it. It's just bologna and white bread. four years ago. Yeah, our were I love bologna. I had the best bologna sandwich. I talked about it on an episode that'll air next I cannot stop thinking about it. Do you like barbecue? Everyone likes barbecue. I, down in Aledo, Texas, our cousin Jimmy just moved down there. Best barbecue I've ever had. And I mean, barbecue's barbecue sometimes, but this like stood out. Like, like we've had, there's tons of good barbecue in Texas, obviously.

This was like they had and they make homemade bologna and I was eating it and I go Jimmy, what did you say this sandwich was? Cause he brought, just had a bunch of food brought home and he goes, I don't know. I got burgers and bologna. I this isn't bologna though, because it was like smoked or something, but it was like kind of pastrami. I mean, it was like sausage more than bologna, right?

So not Oscar Best sandwich I've ever had in my entire life. Don't Oscar Mayer as a sponsor. I didn't know you were a bologna hater. Hater? I just... do not like We had bologna all week. I love bologna. Fried bologna? White bread, mayo, lettuce. I'm... Mustard, white bread. That's it. I used to do lettuce and red wine vinegar. Isn't that That's so fancy. No, it's like poor people.

My mom got baloney at the deli every week. Shaved. Shaved from Lawson. is fancy. All right. Matt, you have any questions for us? Not really. You guys are doing good. Okay, how about this? How do you take care of yourself in general when like everything seems chaotic? Which normally our life right now has calmed down a lot because the kids are gone.

But sometimes we still have some chaos. So how do you take care of yourself? That's a loaded question. think I'm working on it. OK, come on. That's a good answer. Yeah. I don't know. You go on my stress. I do walk a lot. walk a lot. And I need to go to the doctor and talk to about mental stuff. Yeah. Yeah.

You're working on it. I'm proud of you. working on it? Yeah. I do stuff a lot. I'm a big stuffer. He stuffs a lot. stuff down? Yeah. Like your wife? But also he cannot sit still. And I think that somehow helps. He's just constantly pacing and pacing. we can sit still. I can sit. Good at sitting I can sit We are so good at doing nothing. me too. My standing hours were 18 out of 24 yesterday. wow. don't do it anything. Yeah. So even in the middle of the night, get it. just. He's like gets up, paces. No. Yeah.

Yeah, I struggle. Man, I feel like you're on that path. Me? You're about to be there. Why don't you answer that question? What do do to take care of yourself? I read poetry, do some calligraphy, I paint. You're being addicted. I believing you. I was like, me your poets. can do any of that stuff.

You think he's the farthest thing from an artist in the world and any artist I've ever dated or spoken to in my life he hates because he's not an artist. That's why he's bad. I was totally like, yeah, I can see that. Are you kidding? What would your what would your poem be? I can't even think of anything. I thought you would say that Billy Madison. Are you an art medium? What would you do for art?

What would I do for art? You would draw horses. Pig horses. I see you as like a chainsaw, like wood cutting guy. Yeah, Just got a saw for Christmas. I saw electric saw. Or Father's Day. Yeah, I did. Badass. You don't do anything to like... Well, maybe you just... Like, your favorite shows you watch. yeah. You know, I mean... No, you're like me. Yeah, we're like TV. We're like all the pop culture stuff is like fun. Football season helps.

Thanks. I love my Saturdays. Same with this guy. Are you college football too? yeah. Okay. you. But it's also like stressful. Yeah it's like you know it's like the one day of the week where like you don't you don't really think of anything else. And I've had this talk with many a wife that hate it so much. I'm like why do you care? Like go do something else or like lean in.

get sliders and pizza. Like, that's what I had to do. had to lean in because otherwise it was like, well, I guess I'll see you Monday. But like, I'm like, who cares? Right? I'm just like my whole argument when people complain about that and I'm like, Anthony does not like golf. Like I know you golf, but you don't go like every day and like, you know, like hide from your children, that kind of golfing. Like he doesn't spend stupid money on crazy hobbies. He's not like golfing and doing all those things. So

Who cares about college football? It's a few months. Embrace that. I only care because when OU loses, it's like, well, now our day is ruined. He used to be like that, know, Ohio State, big Buckeye. But then when the kids started at Boulder, we kind of like rooting for Boulder. And then when the Deion Sanders thing, we're like really rooting for Boulder. So it took some pressure off the Buckeyes. Yeah. So now it's just more like fun and games. you know, but this is another thing I find that like

kind of off topic, but wives that don't get, it's like, but why do they have to watch every game? They're fans of say Notre Dame or they're fans of this, but why do they have to watch every game? Because it all like intertwined. I've always wondered that too. I'm like, why do you care about this team? But it all matters. football. No, I know, but I think that's the key. I just like the sport. Yeah. I'm sticking up for you, dude. I know. You're like getting defensive. I will say Joanna, I...

do play golf and I'm playing more and more. play a lot of golf. And she never tells me no. mean, I think she knows that it's good for me. It is good for you.

You Forgot (25:32)
Yeah. Okay, go back. You were saying I was saying you were saying that I never tell you no when you want to go play golf because I don't want you to ever tell me no with all my crazy ideas. That is true. And I do have a lot of crazy ideas and you hardly like when I bought a car while you were on a walk. I told Anthony about your. a car within like 30 minutes and he came back from a walk and I was like, guess what? I have a new car. And he was like.

Okay, he was like that's the last surprise Joanna for one month no more surprises Anthony the difference between

You saying no to me is about $45 versus $50,000. Or like when I book a- Hello swimming pool. Yes. Sometimes she put a pool in, he was no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. We have a $10,000 dog. Well, I booked that New York vacation without telling him. dog is $10,000? No. She did not cost that much, but she has cost us that much. replacing a couch, replacing a back door.

her surgeries. Which one? Poppy? She's worth it. She's chewed up. Anthony, look at him. Look at him. looks at Cher instantly. He's like, I'd pay 10 grand a day for her. But I've learned that Matt always comes from a place of no. So I just don't ask anymore. And then I have, and then it's fine. I get what I want. Yeah. Yeah. It'd be ridiculous to tell anyone no. Yeah.

We never do that. One of your favorite vacations was right before COVID when we went to New York for Christmas with my sisters. And Debra and I planned this whole trip and didn't tell them for like six months. And then we just started bringing it up at like dinner. We were like, God, I wait for a New York vacation. And the boys would be like, what are you talking about? We're like, we've told you a million times we're going to New York for Christmas.

Which doesn't work anymore. Well it worked one time. It worked one time. went on, I get there and we get into a balcony room and I was like, this is not what we paid for. And she was like, I told you and I said, no you did not. And John confirmed our brother-in-law. Well he wasn't my wingman that time. It's getting harder to trick you. It's getting harder. Like Charlie Crockett says, it's a...

What does he say? I don't know. What are you saying? What did David do? did David do? did David do? Just like honey. Just like honey. Those sweet lies. Just like honey. There's a Jesus and Mary Jane song called Just Like Honey, right? Speaking of music and lyrics, Joanna came up with this question for you, This question. Anthony.

If you could sum up our lives right now in a song title or lyric, what would it be? You go first. no, I'm not kidding. You go first. Luckily she gave me the question of, I still struggle with it. Cause I knew he'd be like, I have no I mean, I wouldn't be able to do it. I go back and forth cause she thinks our life is pretty...

I don't feel like that way. I feel like it's crazy train. Really? Yeah, that's how we always operate I'm always like we're great. Everything's great and he's like it's tough. This guy is falling You're doom and gloom yes It's not that I'm doom and gloom. I'm just like I feel like I've never got any control So it's just crazy train not going down the track. Okay answer the questions. That's it crazy

That's my answer. That's awesome. But let's see, I don't know how you're crazy training with her as your wife. Like does it, I mean like, I know you think it causes the chaos, but I think it's like, she makes it, everything's okay all the time. Everything's fun and just, it's all gonna work out. Yeah, I don't know if I feel that way. Maybe I should spend a day in your marriage or something and get the real truth, but that's what it looks like to an outsider. mean, it's fun and I'm, I don't know.

Just think of all the fun things you never would have done without me. That's true, but I'd also be very rich. Yeah. But you'd be sitting counting up your money. That is true. He'd be a hermit. would never have gone anywhere. But he's so social. I know. It's a conundrum. Yeah. Like, if it were just me by myself, I'd live in a condo, one bedroom, like in Red River. All my money would be in a bank, and I would just go walk every day.

do a little work. That sounds like shite. Listen to music. Thank you. What the hell are you talking about? Play golf. If he's not yapping on the phone, he's outside yapping to the neighbor, he's gotta be talking 24 seven. I mean maybe. Sometimes he just looks out the window to watch a neighbor come by and then he goes outside. Mr. Kravitz. Mayor Matt. seen it. She's videoed you doing that. I have sent her pictures. Well that's if I hear weird noises. You're looking out the window.

That's what men do. When it rains, you stand there and you look out. he does his hat. What do you say when it rains? What's a man say? What's a man say? No, we really needed this. Exactly. Boy, we really needed this rain. He stands in his... I hope that lake gets some inches. Boy, we really needed that. We really needed that. Lake Levant needs to get out. yeah. They really need it.

Not you, every man, every person. single man. I really needed this. I watched the rain. Well, it's almost getting up to the curb. It's really raining out there. You have a song title? I guess Hot to Go. Why, because I'm so Well, that and you're coming in hot most of the time. That is a great answer. Coming in hot? I don't know why. I feel like I'm very chill.

Coming in hot, that's funny. I mean, I used to be able to say hot for teacher, but. Aw. I'm no longer a teacher, hot for travel agent. That song just doesn't mash. So what about you? Do you have a song title or lyric? No, I can't think of anything. There's got to be a Taylor song.

I mean, it used to be, I know what Boys Like by The Waitresses, but I don't know if that's appropriate anymore.

That's what my co-worker used to say when I was Sue Dunn. When Anthony was obsessed with me. I guess it worked. I guess it was true. You know I just asked Lori Lue on a text for the world series of metal poster. Does she have any? She has them in her attic. Is she gonna get them? Yes. We used to do this

Festival it's called the World Series of Metal and a friend we made while working in Cleveland. His name was Mitch Shifty and shite. What do call you guys Shifty and Shady? They weren't really shit Well Mitch was kind of shifty, but like he was just an older businessman and he he did metal shows all the time He had like clubs. It's like this heavy metal like really death metal and we would do the then it ended up coming into the Agora where we worked and I Mean three days of those bands

Three days. I would flirt with Sue for three days. Well, I think we were making out by then. Maybe not the first one, but the third one maybe. Well, our history is kind of goofy because we dated when we first initially met and then for like a couple dates, like real dates. Like he was first guy that took me on like a date, like dinner, like cocktails. Like properly asked you out for a date. Yeah. And like went to like Michael Simon's restaurants and it's like good shit.

Like when I was getting like hanging out with boys and bands forever and like, you know, they'd buy me a cigarette. you know, like it was like whatever. But yeah, you took me on like real dates. But then we, I don't know, we were both, we both had these four or five year long-term things like college things that just, that were always kind of back and forth. So I don't know. And then we were worked together and then we were like best friends. So we just dated initially at first and then not for like five years. Like, did you break up after this? We didn't even like, we just.

dated a couple of times. okay. Right? I thought we dated longer. What are you talking about? It was a couple of dates. Then I got sick and we never, we didn't date anymore. That's when I, I had some viral infection or something, but I had Bell's palsy and like all the things. you know, I wasn't, yeah, we were, and we worked together at two jobs. We were not dating. two jobs? Yeah. The Agora. The Agora. Cause that was, you know,

we were only open for concerts and events. And Anthony also worked at this fine dining restaurant and I was bartending in a couple of places and he's like, come to the restaurant with me. And so there was like five or six of us that worked at both places. So y'all saw each other every day. We were constantly together. And then didn't you live together at one place? yeah. yeah. Before we were dating, like I bought a house. We were dating. We were not dating. I was dating Chris and you were dating. I dating.

Sorry Chris. Sorry Chris. No, he had a million girlfriends. Like he did. you weren't exclusive, but you were dating. We were not dating. We weren't dating. But it was very odd because I would like go home to his house for like all the holidays, go to his parents. You were spending holidays with his family, but you weren't dating? No, you were dating. You were dating. If you were at the in-laws. No, we weren't dating.

different. We were best friends. And like, yeah, he was dating people. I had a boyfriend, like a real boyfriend for like two years. Were you jealous? Of this one? Okay. I mean, I would have been too. But her mom wanted Sue to marry me. Really? She had that sense. Yeah, she did. Because I was dating this other boy, but I didn't take him to

like family events and stuff because like I knew I wasn't gonna marry him. Didn't mean I was gonna marry Anthony. But then I took him home for Kirsten's wedding and that was way in the beginning and he was just like a cute date, you know, cause it was like a high school friend's wedding and I didn't wanna like, I don't know. I don't know, I wasn't gonna, I don't know what it was but my mom looked at him and was like, you guys aren't dating? I go, no.

She goes, but look at his features. Think of the children. Think of the children. Well, she was not wrong. Your kids are beautiful. They are. And they're cute. Yeah. Well, we just wanted to have you guys on and see if you like our podcast. We love your podcast. That's amazing. And you're very proud of us. And I love all the equipment. She's on a first name basis with Amazon. We have a legit studio at your house. Yeah, I know. There's like.

All kinds of cool equipment. Yeah, we have the boom mic stands now and we have lights. Yeah. Been very proud of you. Thank you. It's very cool. Very good. And it's not easy. You guys are putting a lot of work into it. Yep. And it shows. I want to put way more work into it for the second year. Yeah, we're ramping it up. You're the talent. You don't have to. Whatever. You need an intern. I know, but I am the farthest thing from type A.

or like a control freak except the things that I have to control. Like I don't feel like I control us. that's not, but I feel like because a lot of people take their memory card like this, upload it to someone on Fiverr and they do everything, right? But it's like, that's how like, like Alex Earl, like you'll see like she'll have like six memory cards for her.

videos, all this stuff, and she sends it away and they do everything. Obviously they have real people. But I just kind of wanted to learn more things. not to just be in control of it, but kind of just to learn more things because I'm like dumb as an adult now, like after the kids are gone and I'm not like working out of that house and you know, not.

No, I always brag on you. I'm like, the fact that you taught yourself how to produce a podcast with all this equipment and you know how to edit it. It's like what in the world? Thanks. I just want to get better at it, you know, because I feel like this year has been, what do we say? What's that? Like, I don't know, like a little baby steps towards like different stuff. And also, you know, a lot of people start doing this and then quit right away. know.

And that could have been me. Because I don't follow through with a lot of things. Well, and I don't either. I think together, together, when I don't feel like doing that, you're not get on the mic. And then when you don't feel like doing it, I'm like, come on, let's do it. that's only been like I can. I really feel like that for me personally, it's been like three times. Yeah, like and it was just like a weird day or funky day or something. But then I have to do it to keep our schedule. Yeah, because it's like the one thing that keeps me.

Because when we had the kids at home and stuff, I was like, scheduled, regimented, laundry, all the things. I'm like, I don't have clean clothes, because I'm not doing their laundry, making sure they have uniform shirts. It's so weird with them not there. I was going to say my song lyric, the first thing I thought of was free falling. Because we're in this like new phase where we don't only have kids to take care of. It's very odd. I'm free falling right now. I wonder if you guys feel like that. Well.

I, the best part about the podcast, think is I, you're helping people, but I love how you kind of weave in pop culture and make it fun. I think that's important. Like, you know, if it was, it was just serious all the time, then you know, kind of boring subject and you know, it's just like not exciting and you know, it's like that you're funny people and the pop culture and the stories. I think that's what keeps people coming back. So don't lose that. No, we actually want to.

capitalize on that more because our feedback is that it's like having a chat with a girlfriend. It's like, what books are we reading? Yeah, like that kind of stuff. And we just make it a point to give some information that would help someone going through, family members with dementia. But that's, when we're talking about it, because it is such a hard subject and if we can make some, something light of it, like that's great.

Because when we are looking at other, to see if there were podcasts about this, like if it was a good idea to start it, they're all strictly informative or like from, you know, what hospital was it? Like, you know, they're all just information and, and that's great. And we send people to those for real. We're not real podcasts. Yeah. And, but then we're also on the side of Instagram with our podcast Instagram account.

that is all dementia, healthcare, memory care facilities, gadgets that help with us, the TV stuff, the remotes. We're on that side of it. There's a lot of people that trying to do the same thing, that are up about it. But then there's the really sad, boring ones too. There's a lot out there. We hope we stand out a little bit. Yeah, we found our angle.

I hope so. I mean, I remember Marta said, are you going to run out of topics? And we have not yet. We haven't. Because every week we meet someone else with.

a family with dementia and we just met two people that have Lewy body dementia in their family and we have in Lewy Lewy body dementia is Month is October. So we have we're gonna have two interviews with people that have had that in their family So we're not really running out now Especially when people ask us questions and we write it down and send it to each other like save this for the pod. Yeah All right, all right

Let's go eat. Thanks guys. Okay, bye.

Where's it going?

You Forgot (41:54)
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